Eye twitch...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Eye twitch...
12
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 8:58am

Awe, aren't they sweet?


Why is it that "residing with their three daughters" just made my eye twitch a bit. I accidently came across this while searching the classifieds for housing in this city.. their wedding announcement came up.


http://buyit.charlotte.com/findit/announcements/Ob7dfa99.htm?query=huntersville#


Blah.


On another note.. I"m really being pushed to have the girls eventually go to school in their school district, and after school care with her daughter. I feel like if I do this.. whether its a good or bad move that I'm just slowly but surely being pushed out. I don't know.. blah. I don't like sharing

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2008
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 9:03am
As YUK as that is... it seems very typical. You will never be pushed out. You are their mom and nothing will ever change that. Keep your chin up!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 9:44am

Wow!

Rosecolouredspecs
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 9:45am

UGH.

Why do they have to go to school in their district? Is that better for them?

No one will ever replace "mama"!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 9:53am

Well... the deal is this...


I put in for a xfer at work that would put me M-F 8-4, which means I'd need after school care. He says that I should move up his way, that way we're using the same after school care. He knows that I can't afford to live there.. so he says well you can live wherever you want up north.. we'll just put them in my school district so you don't have to worry about the perfect school. He and I are both VERY anal about schools, and Charlotte is very patchy. I can find a fantastic neighborhood but it gets lumped in with a bad school.. so its hard to find a good place to live expecially w/the elementary schools.


It makes sense, but it just pushes me WAY out. I told him I can't afford to move right now. If I get the job I'll be using probably after school care in the neighborhood from one of the moms, but I will consider the move eventually.


We do share them 50/50 which has been fine, but I'm just starting to feel pushed out, and I don't like it. Expecially since he was never around and treated us all like dirt until he met this woman. Umm, nice example... getting ticked off at me and leaving the girls and I stranded at the beach when they were 1 1/2 and 6 months old. Yep, me sitting out in the hot sun, two babies, and not a dime to my name. And now he's Dad of the year? I love that he's a great Dad now.. I just cannot shake how mentally abusive and neglectful he was to me which in turn affected his children. Blah.. venting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 12:30pm

with "their three daughters"


ugh. Don't worry though, I'm sure it was just said that way to avoid sounding awkward (would have been wierd to say "with his three daughters"). I'm sure it was painted to sound real nice. You'll NEVER be replaced!!


Besides, you're so much cuter :o)


I know, snide and petty but I just had to say it.


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 12:50pm
I understand completely how you feel!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 3:07pm

LOL - ok I'll be "catty" and say the same thing - you are SO much cuter... You'll never be replaced as their Mama.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 4:07pm

Trust me--be happy that they are inclusive! My DD has had her Step-mom (and her step-moms entire clan) in her life since she was 3--she is now 13 and doesn't remember life without them. When her little brother was born 3 years ago her step-grandparents said 'finally, a real grandchild' and since that time it has been down hill. She has 2 siblings at her Dad's now and both of them are spending this week at their grandparents house, my DD was not invited and she was crushed. She fondly remembers her grandpa taking her fishing every year until her brother was born...now nothing. Her step-mom is the same way--she will call me to tell me that they will give me money to take DD shopping for shoes b/c she is such a chore to shop for (she is a TEENAGER!) And DD has heard her say that 'her' kids won't ever go to childcare (DD's dad is a stay-at-home father now) because she doesn't want her kids to turn out like DD.


Most of the time our situation works out great--most of the time DD is happy and has no problems BUT these seemingly little things realy bring her down. Be happy that they are including your girls in their life--it's hard, I know (step-mom was the other-women once upon a time) but it is healthier for your girls to be included in their lives as family--instead of set aside as "my husbands daughters"...


JMHO!


Oh--and you can never be replaced in their hearts--as I told my son once--our hearts grow to include everyone we love...that goes for kids too--my son feels bad for loving his step-mom but it's the same way with him (BTW--they have different Dads)--he doesn't remember a time in his life that he didn't have a step-mom, she is a big part of his life, I can't tell him not to love her--I can only help him understand that it is okay to love her...that it doesn't take away from the love he feels for me.


And trust me--I struggled with feeling like I was being replaced--I still flinch everytime he calls her 'mom'..I just try not to let it show!


April


April

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 9:19pm

THEIR daugters!?!?! OMG, that would freaking make me FLIP!!!!!!!!!!! Thats pure CRAP!!!


& they dont "reside" with them, they reside with YOU!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 9:21pm
Yeah, i guess once the shock wore off, & i realize they are there 50% of the time - AND, in reality, leaving your girls OUT & mentioning just her dd, would be wrong. It sucks though.

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