FB or FWB is it wrong??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
FB or FWB is it wrong??
5
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 7:37pm

I think this is my first "official" question for all of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 7:54pm

There are some here who swear by FWB and do well with it. Here are 2 cautions I have:
1) Can you really do that and not get emotionally attached and upset if he starts dating someone else who is the love of his life? I cannot have sex without an emotional attachment. I have to know the guy really digs me and doesn't want to be with anyone else. There are many other women who feel this way as I do. Then there are some who can separate. Just be aware of this.
2) I think if you have a FWB that you are tempted to work a little less hard to have a social life for yourself. You are not so driven as to look great every time you leave the house. To meet new people and try new things. Having a FWB removes the hunger to want to have someone and to do the work to find him.

I don't think there is a right or wrong if both people know exactly what they want.

Welcome to our board and good luck with whatever you decide. And bring back some stories - we always love stories.

I am sure the others will write more - everyone has their own experience to share and that is what makes this board so good. More stories and experiences.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 10:40pm

You're right, this is a personal choice.


One thing to be aware of is that some women (and men, I would assume) don't have sex without their feelings getting involved.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 11:21pm

Just my thoughts after reading your post- and why you are even posting here to ask us if it's okay to do this...


While our morals are not your morals, and you shouldn't let US guide you in the path of your morals- I think that the fact that you are even ASKING if it is morally wrong to do the FB or FWB thing, should tell you that you are not comfortable with the whole idea!


That alone makes me want to tell you NOT to do it. I just have a feeling you won't be okay with it. Am I wrong with this? That if someone is perfectly fine with the whole FWB idea- that they wouldn't be asking the board if it was okay??


I think if you have any doubts about it, it's probably best that you don't. And it's totally normal that you might have sexual urges, and wanting a real live man instead of a BOB. You're not odd at all for feeling that way! But if you don't know for sure about the FWB, then don't do it.


For me personally- it's not a moral issue to not do it. It's because I know I can't do a FWB without getting emotionally attached.


~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 11:36pm
I agree that it depends on the people involved.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
Sun, 09-30-2007 - 2:17am

There is nothing wrong with having a F*** Buddy.