Feeling alone around married moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
Feeling alone around married moms
10
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 2:12pm

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http://www.wh
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 2:52pm

Oh, can I relate!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 3:46pm
Look good, smile, and think and act like you have it better - don't let it get to you. I don't think that what they do is intentional - just that they all are on the same page with their social lives. Imagine if we were all in a room talking about our single mom lives and challenges and one of them walked in - they would also feel out of place because they cannot relate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 4:17pm

Advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 4:45pm

YES! You articulated what I was trying to say so much better than me. I feel more privileged than my married mom friends. And I act it, talk it and dress it. I do not feel left out. But I did in the beginning. For sure. I guess I am the product of 7 years on my own, developing hobbies, growing my business, becoming very independent, and shopping and redoing my wardrobe. I would not go back to my stupid and lame MrsWife self. Not that there is anything wrong with being a faithful wife in a miraculous marriage - but I have become such a strong and vivid person and that is not ever going to go away.

What MrSanta did was rude, insensitive and presumptuous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 4:54pm

omg - you guys - you get it exactly.

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http://www.wh
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 5:16pm

Oh yes - I know, I know. And I do feel "watched" regarding relationships - well - I used to when I was dumb enough to blab about my dating days to my sister or other married friends. Only the board knows about them now. It is much easier on my nerves. And quite frankly, what married woman could relate to the "he is just not that into you" way of thinking, or the madness of online dating or the fact that you have to dump a few to avoid headaches and find out what you want.

So, you must have the policy I have adopted, "MINIMAL information, MAXIMAL politeness."

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 7:29pm

While we're venting, here's another one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 10:37pm

"oily fish eye" Is that the same as the "stink eye"? LMAO

This is the other thing about small town living. Everyone THINKS they know your business and they have no clue. When I left my husband and felt like I had to prove to everyone in the county that I'm not having a problem with it, even though he was going around letting everyone know I had lost my mind. I think the thing that bothers me most is being with my daughter at family events because i know it bothers her seeing all the "happy?" families around her. Makes me feel bad that things did not work out and that our family isn't like that. But as she's gotten older, she's seeing more families exactly like hers.

Emma-thinking she got off the subject a little, sorry

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 10:44pm

Aha - well, time is with you on the seeing more families like yours thing.

We just had an event here today that made me think of this thread. My son had a friend over from school whose mom works. Since I have a home office I can sort of blend with the working moms and the SAHMs and love them all - no judgement either way from me.

Anyway, instead of going to aftercare, the little boy came here. They did homework and then played football and video games. I fed them a GREAT dinner. And then his mom came to pick him up. She was so grateful and explained she could never return the favor - I said no worries - this is actually easier for me with 2 because they help each other and entertain each other. DS was happy as a clam.

I thought, how lucky I am!! I love to run my castle my way. I really do.

I started another thread that asks a lot more questions around this theme. So will have more good discussions here -hope the tips help.

Being in a small town must surely make the whole process harder. Because you don't have just the single mom thing to contend with - they know the whole drama and probably have a holier than though thing going. Hang in there!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 8:45am

I feel your pain, but don't really have any advice.


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