feeling defeated
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feeling defeated
| Wed, 03-30-2005 - 12:02pm |
Hi, new here. I'm feeling down today about being single. I have ended a relationship very recently for lack of feelings and desire on my part and his insecurities and nontrusting jealous issues. That I'm ok with mostly. I felt like I was settling because he was good to my son and to me, but I felt no connection. So what brought on this terrible defeated feeling was a conversation with the ex before (who had also broke my heart). We are sort of friends but don't talk much because it is hard for me. That being said, he informs me that now he has a girlfriend. Of course I'm taken back and shocked but not really. I said 'good for you' and left it at that, and I do want him to be happy. But it gets me thinking, here I am , still single. And all of my friends are in serious relationships or married. Now this a$$ has somebody, and even my a$$ exh still has a g/f. What is wrong with me? It seems anyone I am interested in, doesn't feel the same or can't see themselves with a single mom. OR there are guys interested in me but I don't like them or they are too old (no offense). I'm 28 with a 7 year old just feeling alittle down. I've got great friends, good job and am usually positive and outgoing and getting flirted with alot, but it just doesn't seem to work out? Any uplifting words?

I think it's normal to feel the way you are feeling. But all those people you know who are in relationships - they probably don't all have the kind of healthy, fulfilling relationship you are seeking, they may very well have settled for less and will one day look back and wish they had spent more time looking for the right person.
(((HUGS)))
We have all felt defeated like you. You've got to stop comparing yourself to other people. So what if the whole world is coupled up? Get yourself happy.
I did this too. When I felt my lowest, I started getting out there and doing things. Meeting people. I made a new friend (girl). I got so happy, guess what happened? A great guy saw that I'm a great girl. He thinks I'm smart, sexy, beautiful and a ton of other wonderful things....because that's the attitude I had about myself when we met.
If I was alone again, I'd like to think I'd find my way back to happiness. You can't count on other people and circumstances to make you happy.
Welcome and sorry to hear of your pain!!
"What is wrong with me?"
Only one thing - you are comparing yourself to your ex!!
Many good people are single and waiting for the right person. You did the right thing by not settling and by moving on from the person you were just with. You will be okay!!
Take good care of you - tell us more about you and your kids...
big hug from me
a little grace 4 the moment
Welcome to the board! I read both your messages so I know you're having a much better day today. That's the way! A haircut always does it for me.
And I agree with what some others said. You could have settled for a "Okay" relationship but you didn't want that. Yes, everyone can have relationships all around you but just remember, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. They might not all be very good relationships and some are probably really lousy. So don't envy them.
You want a great relationship and some day you will find it. Until then, be a positive, upbeat, interesting woman and keep loving that little boy.
And keep posting!
Hugs
Tara
I SO agree with your post, Catherine, and I am in exactly the same boat!!
I am so happy for you that you are doing much better now. I know that good things are going to come. I really hope you enjoy your trip to NC and the states. How long has it been since you have been stateside?
Keep us posted!!