I know just how hard it can be, but I would recommend cutting all contact. You know that you're easily swayed back into his life with the promises cause you keep hoping that *this* time he'll stay longer.
Sometimes I feel that we get "stuck in a moment" and we can't see past it. When you are feeling sad and empty without him, you will have to get out out of that moment and see yourself outside of that pain.
Its the pain (temporary) that you fear, so you go back to feel less hurt, only to get hurt again. In the moment of weakness, try and visualize yourself three days ahead without him and smiling and happy. Visualize yourself saying no for good, and feeling the cloud of uncertainty and darkness and fear lift from you. See yourself on the other side of this drama...the side where you stand secure and competent and happy without him.
He will always continue this pattern with you if you keep engaging him. He has no reason to change, because you have shown him time and time again that he can call you back. He SAYS he feels for you. He is NOT SHOWING you that. Move on.... see yourself moving on.... then follow that vision.
If you find it is hard to do this for yourself, then at the very least do this for your children. THEY DESERVE more. And who can blame your DS for not liking this guy. He hates seeing you hurt. By staying with this guy every time you go back, you are teaching you son that men are allowed to treat women this way.
Be strong!! You have that in you. "Fake it till you Make it".... see it in your head first then let your heart follow your head.
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Welcome to the board.
"How can i get over him?"
Well, only you can decide that.
I know just how hard it can be, but I would recommend cutting all contact. You know that you're easily swayed back into his life with the promises cause you keep hoping that *this* time he'll stay longer.
I wish you all the strength you need.
Hi, and welcome.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
Sometimes I feel that we get "stuck in a moment" and we can't see past it. When you are feeling sad and empty without him, you will have to get out out of that moment and see yourself outside of that pain.
Its the pain (temporary) that you fear, so you go back to feel less hurt, only to get hurt again. In the moment of weakness, try and visualize yourself three days ahead without him and smiling and happy. Visualize yourself saying no for good, and feeling the cloud of uncertainty and darkness and fear lift from you. See yourself on the other side of this drama...the side where you stand secure and competent and happy without him.
He will always continue this pattern with you if you keep engaging him. He has no reason to change, because you have shown him time and time again that he can call you back. He SAYS he feels for you. He is NOT SHOWING you that. Move on.... see yourself moving on.... then follow that vision.
If you find it is hard to do this for yourself, then at the very least do this for your children. THEY DESERVE more. And who can blame your DS for not liking this guy. He hates seeing you hurt. By staying with this guy every time you go back, you are teaching you son that men are allowed to treat women this way.
Be strong!! You have that in you. "Fake it till you Make it".... see it in your head first then let your heart follow your head.
Best of luck to you!
"Fake it till you Make it"
Thanks for all the great advise and comments.
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