feeling a little insecure
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feeling a little insecure
| Fri, 01-18-2008 - 11:53pm |
My fiancee and I only see each other on weekends, but talk on phone all the time.
| Fri, 01-18-2008 - 11:53pm |
My fiancee and I only see each other on weekends, but talk on phone all the time.
I am sure that you fiancee understands why you couldn't see him Wed, remember, you have a lifetime of birthdays to spend together, in the scheme of things it is not a huge deal and you are making an effort this weekend.
April
Hi Babe,
WHEW - sounds like you have had one heckuva week. I think we fail to give ourselves credit sometimes for how hard it is to be a single parent. To work, raise kids and take care of a house and all the bills by ourselves - it is just overwhelming!!
I agree with everything April said. The kids do need to help - maybe it can be a group effort and time for you to bond. I do try to have a policy of "do one thing a day" in my house for both DS and I - but I also have days like you where I just look at stuff that should be getting done and it doesn't get done. You can only do so much and don't beat yourself up!!
With regards to the birthday - we are not in kindergarten anymore. You are a single mom and will celebrate on a different day. Chances are he is in the same boat and just enjoyed the day with his kids.
Also, if he is in the same boat and is tired - maybe THAT is why his house stuff is not getting done and is so behind. Maybe he feels too overwhelmed to get anything done much less start looking. I think you need to take a step back on that and let him do what he needs to do otherwise he is going to feel resentful. If it is meant to be it will be on its own time.
For now you have it good in a way - you have your own space and the time with your kids without trying to blend a family.
Sometimes when our kids are at their worst is because we ourselves are at our worst and do not have the patience and time with them that we have on better days. Kids always thrive their best when we spend quality time with them. Hopefully you can get that this weekend.
I guess as much as all of us here might like to find someone so special to be engaged we can now see by your post that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Relationships are work and they do cause more stress sometimes, too.
I wish we could all help you and help each other watch the kids and get errands done and pitch in to clean a house when it gets out of control!!
Hope your weekend goes better - keep us posted!!
Hey Babe (((((HUGS)))))
I think that both of you are overwhelmed and under stress, and neither feels like "doing" much with their time off.
Hey everybody, thanks for your replies. I slept well Fri night and the kids went to their dads so spent wknd with fiancee. House is still a mess, schedules still crazy but feel better well rested.
Don't worry things will work for the better eventually. As far as your 15yr old. I know it seems to be a bit closed in but enjoy it b/c soon enough mommy will be the last things she wants to be under! LOL!
Most girls at that age begin to steer away from mom & that where alot of problems come in to play like sneaking around, secrets parents should know but mom isn't cool enough or they don't want to risk getting in trouble,etc. Her fustrations as far as you being engaged are great b/c it lets you know you have so far been a great mom & neither of your children want to loose their mom to a man. Go-Girl!!!!!!!
As far as the mister in your life I am sure that he understands your work load. you are right sometimes men do go out on a limb to ensure that they don't loose you but thats not always bad-you can look at it like he really wants you & although you guys have alot to over come b4 the big "I DO" you are working on it. Since he is having problems with the house you are looking at have him do a little seraching of his own & therefore he can still feel like he is somewhat in control althoug we women know we are the ones who hold things to gether!!!!!
Congrats on the engagement. Remember that work without a little trial & error is not as much appreciated in the long run. It sounds like you guys have typical issues that arise when combining two families & eventually as long as both parties are considerate of each others views & opinions you will do just fine.
As far as your unclean house- I don't know if you see it this way or not so I don't mind if you disagree but you