Feeling very torn about my decision....
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Feeling very torn about my decision....
| Tue, 01-22-2008 - 8:00pm |
I think I mentioned that my Holidays in Texas were awful. The worst was DD's father and his girlfriend.
It was a total nightmare. They totally disrespected any wishes that I had about the visitation rights. I asked that DD's fathers girlfriend stay away for the first two days so that they both have time to see each other. Alex wanted time with her Dad and asked that I talk to her Dad about it. He promised. They didnt' see each other for years and his girlfriend is constantly on and off. Of course that didn't happen. She followed him to his place and started a huge fight with her Dad and threw all this drama in front of Alex.

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((((Cat))))... I really don't have much advice since I don't have to deal with custody issues but it sounds like if he has no legal ties to her then you CAN decide the terms of what goes on during the times he actually visits.
Thank you so much for your email! AND OMG, I can relate with what you are saying. I go through this with my youngest DD's grandparents in Europe where Nina goes 2 months a year. It's a nightmare to have her return. Her Dad doesn't get that much time off and usually doesn't spend THAT much time with her, although I think as she gets older, it might get better. Hard to tell, but he has shown improvement.
My X's parents are a nightmare though. They never brush her teeth, they let her chew sugarless gum and tell her that's its just the same as brushing her teeth! They don't use tongs for their noodles or salad, they just stick their hands in the bowl and serve everyone, of course after they pet and scratch the animals without washing hands. They feed Nina sugar all day and she is allergic to too much of anything and breaks out in horrible eczema. So she comes back a mess. She lies, because they tell her it's ok to lie. They told ME it's ok to lie. I have a HUGE list of awful things I put up with and of course, because I argue with them, they call me the "Ice Queen". My oldest thinks it was a hoot, until the family told her she is becoming like me and we better not change my youngest. My youngest is the one that is off the hook! LOL. Anyway! Before moving back to the States, I had to deal with this on a weekly basis and it was a true nightmare. Now I just have to deal with it when my youngest comes back. My oldest doesn't even stay with them anymore. She stays with my Mom, her friends and sometimes with my X husband, which is a new thing.
Oh, believe me I know all about that- Nicolas' dad is 37 now and his parents pay me the child support from the order.
HUGGGGS.
I sense your pain and frustration.
You did the right thing.
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