felt like a shmuck

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
felt like a shmuck
7
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 10:42am

Felt like a shmuck the other night... and that's the word that came to my head, too.

What do you think? Here's the story... went out Saturday night... and saw Leo (from several weeks ago). At first I thought, yikes i met him several weeks ago, i never heard from him... awkward... First question: what would you do? 1)ignore him. 2) make eye contact and see if he responds. 3) be bold and go up to him, say hi?

LOL... at first I thought i'd ignore him but i REALLY wanted him to say hi. He's very cute and i'll elaborate in a sec.

However, after a couple drinks, I got bolder. I started checking him out... went with option (2)... When we made eye contact he smiled and waved. The second time we made eye contact he pointed to his phone and I pointed to my phone saying "call me"... so i texted him "call me". He texted back with some excuse about his phone messing up. Whatever, i thought. At this point i was still uncertain as to whether he was interested. I feel like i've been in a rut anyway.. and not my usual BOLD self... (like some stories in the past). I think i was intimidated by him.... i thought he was the cutest guy in the room. And other women noticed him too. From where i was sitting, it looked like several woman came over to him to say hi, ect. But as I was watching him, he didn't seem to flirt with them... he was NOT "working the room"... but my insecurities were getting the best of me.

Then my phone rang... it was him. I missed the first one, but he called again.. Okay so this time i went over to talk to him... Sat next to him and talked. He showed me his beat up phone and said he ran over his phone and lost all his numbers (plausible i thought). He seemed happy to have my phone number again.

Then the girls sang "Girls just wanna have fun" and it was someone's birthday so I said to him... let me join the girls... I got up and danced with the girls. And when the song was over my shyness took over again... Question should i sit back down next to him? or sit back down with my friends? I chose the shy option and sat with my friends. I thought, if he's interested he'll come talk to me or motion for me to join him again... My head turns into jello sometimes around a cutie pie. I felt like a shmuck because the bolder me wouldn't have been questioning myself at every turn.

My insecurities really took over after that.... I saw all the other woman who were talking to him and thought... he's not interested in me (even though he smiled at me several times)... I asked my brother to take me home. I thought he was trying to "hook up" with someone else and said to my brother "i can't sit here and watch him flirt all night with someone else..." So my brother took me home and went back. I went to sleep.

Then later, Leo went up to my SIL and asked about me... she said, he was upset that I left. The girl I thought he was talking to was interested in his friend... not him... and that he was interested in me. D'oh. Should I have stayed???? Flirted with him instead of freak out???? He asked SIL if i was still awake or not. Then said, "i have her phone number i'll call her." He called my phone at 2:15am and left me a message... "i didn't see you leave, do you want to hang out sometime? call me." I was asleep. I heard the phone and got the message... My first thought, was "did he strike out with that other girl or what?" Then saw that SIL had sent me a text about how he asked about me... So I got up and got the scoop from her... What happened after i left?

I think he wouldn't have asked about me if he wasn't interested, right? He didn't even know my SIL but went up to her. He asked her why i left... I'm not sure what she told him, either she said she didn't know or she said, i was upset that he was talking to some other girl. Either way, he called me...

The next day, i didn't feel as foolish... i mean, i can't make it too easy for him, right. He should have moved quicker.... and i need to stop kicking myself for being shy. I just haven't been on my game, lately...

Well, that's the update... hope everyone had a good weekend.

Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 11:10am
don't beat yourself up too much Loony. You are a lot more outgoing than me. I try, but I'm finding myself to be the socially walking faux pas that I've always been. And I think it's mostly because of my questioning myself on everything I do (the big should I or shouldn't I) and not listening to what I WANT to do. Then I find myself doing what I WANT to do and it turns sour just about every time. Half the time, I just don't do anything! LOL!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 11:27am

You are allowed to play hard to get from time to time...don't let him know that you were having an insecure moment, just tell him you had to go!

April

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 2:43pm

So you two made eye contact and communicated via text and phone???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 4:53pm

Totally! Reminds me of a club I went to back in 1990 where they had phones on every table with a number. It was called phone tag... and you could "call" people. I loved it. It was a great way to talk to someone without actually getting up and getting rejected.

So, I guess cells phones make that possible too. After you call, find out you both are interested.. then you can get together and talk face to face...

Although, this funny thing happened to my friend at "phone tag"... she agreed to meet this guy at the dance floor and he turned out to be VERY short - 5 ft. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 12:20am
You are NOT a schmuck, looney - you were out having fun with your friends. Good stuff. If he wants constant attention he can ask you out! Which maybe he will do? And if not him then someone nice for you!! Keep us posted!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 9:24am

<<(the big should I or shouldn't I)>>

Yep, that was my deal.... when i should have just enjoyed my friends and the birthday party. Keep getting out there emma_b2... the more you do it, the more comfortable it will get...

Love,
Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 9:28am

Thanks for the encouragement, April. I think my insecurities were stemming from PMS.. which usually is the case whenever I have a loony moment... then two days later, i start my period... and the big "Aha, that's why i was freaking....". But I just realized that means I'll be PMSing around Valentines next month.... oh boy. LOL... can't wait for the story about that one...

Loonybunny