Fending off Chaos
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| Fri, 03-02-2007 - 9:36pm |
Hi Folks,
Kind of a question, kind of a vent for the single parents out there.
Sometimes I feel like my life is in a state of suspended crisis. It started in October when my job went totally sour. It is my only source of income, and I was so miserable I quit, took on half time work for less $$. Then I have all the ups and downs of starting a relationship. the guy is great, but let's face it, starting a relationship causes some stress. Then my water heater goes out three days before Christmas when I have family travelling across the country to see the house I just bought.
Cold weather strikes. My new pellet stove won't heat the house. The kid, I and the dogs spend all weekends and evenings curled up on an electric blanket on the sofa. Kitchen is 45 degrees when I make the morning coffee for three weeks until I can afford a tank of oil for the furnace ($700.00). Then the furnace goes out THREE TIMES!! The furnace guy thinks I have the hots for him (Joking). Pipes freeze. I fix that on my own. Laundry drain freezes up for three weeks and so no laundry for us. "Mom, can we go to Target to buy more socks, please?"
Then my kid's ongoing issued in the classroom with the brand new teacher finally get out of control and I have to be major squakey wheel to move the administration to change his classroom about 15 meetings, half of which I had to storm out of to avoid calling the teacher a dim wit or worse.
Now my senior dog is failing. I may have to put him down imminently. I cried all day today while trying to plaster the livingroom ceiling that is in desparate need of repair. I am an achey tearful dusty miserable wreck. the wonderful BF is working late in the lab all night and would be here for me if 20 students weren't depending on him.
So why is it things all seem to be so much chaos all the time for me? I would really like to have a night of boring stuff. Even a movie that I have already seen and a bland dinner.
Old dog is finally sleeping. He had a dream where he was running it looked like and I just started sobbing because he can barely stand anymore. can you folks remind me what a normal life is like? It was only a few months ago, but it all seems so far away at times.
Edited 3/2/2007 9:41 pm ET by ubersilly

My bf's Mom died over christmas very suddenly turning him into a guy under thirty who is also an orphan having lost his dad five years back. So I feel like there is a lot of chaos in just taking care of him and loving him the way he needs. Meanwhile my job has sparked up and I am practicing ( Im a violinist) no kidding 90 pages of music, all of which has to be memorized between now and April. Every time I open my email google is sending me an alert about one of these concerts and I am wishing I never signed up for the google alert thing to tell me when my career is in the news but even that makes me laugh because I signed up for it because ( drum roll) I was very afraid I was so overworked I would forget one of my gigs and thought the google alert would protect me from that...haha.
Oh and just to make you all laugh - my rental home is definitely suffering from wear and tear and the other day my bf and I were trying to initiate some much needed sex in the shower to help the above mentioned chaos and the shower rod BROKE and the curtain tumbled around us, forcing a quick exit. Kinda killed the mood.
OK and there is one more thing. My father ( who can be quite the drama king) has announced that in order to get over his last break up he is writing a book about Break Ups entitled "People who leave and People who get left Behind" Half the book will be about him leaving my mom and my brother and I and how that was handled then the other half is about him being left years later. So now we will all have the joy of reading about my childhood woes. My brother doesnt know so at any point there could be a massive freak out and I am just staying on high alert for when that moment hits. My Dad seems to think this will help him deal with his break up but I have the feeling it wil help him hang on to it for some reason. It has been nearly five years since his lover left. I just have never loved someone as much as I do him at the same time as I want to wring their neck. He's been absolutely exasperating since Valentines Day.
Wow I apparently needed to vent. Thanks for starting this thread uber. Sorry I dont have the normal life to describe to you but at least you know you arent alone, right? I am thinking there might be something that will shift in the universe soon and help us both!!
((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))
The thing is, you're living a normal life. I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. The rest of the stuff- the house, the job, the school stuff= that's all pretty normal.
Yes, it stinks that everything has come crashing down on you= it really stinks. But all of these tribulations are making you a stronger person.
We're always here when you need to vent, and please remember that it could be so much worse!
Moody, sending calming thoughts
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OMG Honey, I am SO sorry you are going thru all this. I am most sad for you & for your precious pup!
Oh Ubersilly - that is the motherlode so to speak. The dog part would throw me over the edge. I lost a dear dog to cancer a while back and I know exactly what you mean and how you feel when you see them not being able to walk and enjoy life.
Do you have any hope for increasing your income? For it seems that when you have that it really takes a lot of stress off of you.
I pray that things will go better for you. When you are alone and have so many fires to put out it really wears on you. Keep us posted, okay?
Thanks all,
I have applied for a professor job, I made it through the first cut, I will hear if I get an interview in a couple weeks.
Dog is still having a hard time...
Oh yes, one of my outlets is cello playing. AND in the freezeing and thawing, my poor cello (developed a crack in the lower rib and a devastating soundpost crack on the front :( so sad about that.
DS and I just finished HP4, and he's napping, which is unusual. We have movie night planned with BF at his place so it will be nice to get out of the delapidated house.
Thanks again and good luck with all your chaos, too.
UberS