Finally Heard from Him

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Finally Heard from Him
8
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 7:54am
Well, I finally heard from the guy I have been seeing. He emailed and apologized for breaking our date last week. He also wanted me to know that he is not avoiding me. He wanted to know if he could call me when he gets some things in his life taken care of.
Everything seemed to be clicking along fine with us until he went home to Kansas. He even called me from there, which suprised me.
Anyway, I decided to take the high road and told him that I hoped everything is OK and he knows where to find me if and when he gets things taken care of. I am NOT gonna sit around and pine away for him. But, I don't want to totally shut the door either. So, we shall see. I have lots of things going on that keep me busy and I am fully aware that he may "disappear". But, I will go ahead and give him the benefit of the doubt.
Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 7:37pm

That seems strange to me, but maybe he does have a legitimate reason and will be in touch soon.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 6:46am
I would also be skeptical - but yes - time tells all. Keep us posted, Steph - and meanwhile - you are still on the market!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 9:24am
I AM very skeptical. I getting pretty fed up with the dating thing again. I have yet to find a man who doesn't play games. I honestly don't think I will hear from him again and not sure if I want to. (yes, I am cranky and feeling cynical today!!)
Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 9:54am

I am going to say something that may very well land me in a dog house, since its not what everyone else feels.

I believe that you have to listen to your gut, follow what your gut wants you to do. If a part of you believes that maybe there is something going on with this man, and that he is just having a hard time dealing with things, then be patient. If things are meant to work out, they will.

On the other hand, if your gut is telling you that he's playing you like a fiddle, then move on, and leave with your dignity in tact.

I honestly believe that we meet everyone for a reason, so maybe you were just meant to learn something from this man, and maybe you're supposed to be with him, and in time it wil all work out.

Your gut won't stear you wrong, you just have to listen hard to what it is saying.

Hope this makes sense, but its how i live, and i'm glad i listened to mine!

Jenn

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 10:16am

My gut instinct with this man was that he was actually an honest and nice guy. The weird thing is that everything was fine until he made a trip home. He sounded so strange when I talked to him the night he came back. He has had a hard time adjusting to working in a cubicle and living in an apartment. He moved here in November and was part of a family owned business and has a house with land. So, he has had some very big changes. Moving from Kansas to Texas and starting a new life has got to be tough. Not to mention, I know he misses his kids.

I am just skeptical because I dated a guy for 6 months. He deployed to Iraq and strung me along for 9 months. He had met and married someone during that time. (he met her during pre-deployment training).

I also believe that people come into our lives for a reason. I also know that if it is meant to be, it will happen. It's just frustrating to finally meet someone that I like and seems to like me. Usually the ones I like don't like me. The ones I don't like won't leave me alone!!! LOL!

Thanks for sharing your point of view!
Stephanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 10:44am

The issue with the kids is a biggie. Do you think he wants to move back home to be near them?

I dated someone in this situation and we did not work out for this reason - he ended up back with his exw for the sake of the kids.

I think this is all about him and his situation, Steph. There is nothing wrong with you - please have faith!! Keep us posted, okay? And keep those eyes open.

Actongirl is right - you do have to listen to your gut.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 10:56am

Well, his son is 18 and in college. His daughter is 14 and lives with her Mom. They have been divorced for 6 years and I don't think they will be getting back together. They were High School sweethearts and married for 16 years. He said she wanted to get back together at one point, but it wasn't gonna happen.

I also know his Dad died about a year ago. So, you are talking about some major life changes going on here. That is why I am TRYING to keep an open mind without being completely naive. It's hard to walk the line between caution, paranoia and keeping some common sense along the way!!

I will keep everybody posted. It helps to have input from everyone. Sometimes I lose perspective when it comes to dating. I just have always had a hard time dealing with the unknown. I like to know what is going on so I can act accordingly!
Stephanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 12:42pm
Oh - well the kids are older - that is pretty good in your favor. Yes - just give him a little time and see what happens. The trip home might have been heavy emotionally for him. We all have trips like that.
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