First FWB meeting Sat. night.
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First FWB meeting Sat. night.
| Fri, 03-04-2005 - 6:07pm |
A friend of mine and I have decided to see if FWB would work between us. I've been the situation before, found it quite fun. She hasn't, but wants to try.
So, Sat will be the first time in a while that I've had any real fun.
Yippee!

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I had a FWB relationship and it was awesome for a while. We had been friends for several years and I was very attracted to him so I initiated the FWB. He had always joked about how good he was (probably why I was attracted!) and he was definitely telling the truth, so it served a good purpose for me since it had been a long long dry spell. Also, there was no pressure to try and impress, we knew each other too well. But after a while it began to feel kind of cheap to me so I stopped. We are still friends though and there is no awkward space between us, which was something we were both concerned about and talked about a lot before we ever slept together.
Of course, I'm in another dry spell, so you never know! I may be calling on my friend next week :) At least I know it will be good.
When you start feeling like your not getting anything out of it, or you start feeling bad as a person, then yes, I agree, get out of it.
I think I've learned to differentiate between physical and emotional on that aspect of it. I have never become emotional, except for once, when he paraded someone else purposefully in front of my face. Nothing happened, but it was a date and he knew I was going to be their. It made me so angry that he would do that, so I just ended it. I turned the tables on him and it really ticked him off. We worked together, so I ignored him for awhile. He tried everything and I acted like he didn't matter. Sooner or later, I got tired of that game (he was great at making me laugh) and we started talking again and being friends, but nothing anymore. I made it perfectly clear and I do this to all of the FWB's I've had. Don't tell me who you are dating, don't parade them in front of me and I will give you the same respect. Works like a charm, and if not, I'm gone.
The one I have now has been around for sometime. Again, no relationship material whatsoever, but we have a great time together and he helps me out otherwise if I need advice on taxes, my car, men, etc. It seems that is how we are, sex is just a normal thing that happens inbetween. We see no harm in it and he makes me feel good and beautiful and he's awfully sexy and gorgeous. The best thing about it, he isn't allowed to be with me and I not with him. So not even if we were relationship material, it would never work, because he must be married by the woman his parents choose for him. He has other women left, right and center, but I'm the one he keeps around, because I don't get emotional. I take it as what it is a : FWB
"Does the way a woman dresses have anything to do with your "serious or play" categorization of her?"
Good Lord, no! Where *do* you get these ideas, girl?
There are a lot of reasons why I would not consider a LTR or marriage with my friend. But the way she dresses is not one of them.
I know that there would be a lot of clashes with the Ex's. And I don't think the children (in spite of knowing one another for years) would meld well together. The two daughters are the same age and the two sons are as well. I think there would be a big problem with the sons. Completely different attitudes....mine is ADHD but very athletic. Her son is a total couch potato.
Ok, respectfully, where I get my ideas is not really something for you to comment on, and I'm not a "girl".
...like some other disenfranchised group pet names, the only people that call me that are other females.
I have had other men comment that someone was definitely play material only because they dressed a certain way. And these men told me they wouldn't take a woman seriously who dressed slutty or like a britney look alike.
Thanks for stating the reasons you have, they sound well considered.
Sorry Candi, if I might misinterpret and you can kick my tush if you want, but
I think what Candi was trying to state, was that women, as men tend to have a bit of problem (such as myself) with a person that cannot present themselves in a certain dress style sometimes, and that (like for me) is a turn off. If a guy shows up in harley davis clothes for instance. BIG TURN OFF to the type of person that I am and I'd never consider them a mate.
The question did kind of seem to come out of the blue, so I can understand where you were a bit side tracked. But it wasn't meant as an offense, just a normal curiosity question.
As for the girl comment. I know it was just a figure of speech on your side, but I think we are soooo out of that GIRL period in our lives through our own personal experiences, that it tends to be a bit of a blow in the face. I know I'd bite your head off. I sometimes call the ladies on here, darlin, girlfriend, sweetie, or honey, but I would never think of calling one a "girl", that would make me sound as if I am insulting these wonderful women. Just as I would never dream of calling you a "boy". Yeah know? ;-)
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How old are the kids? Maybe, the couch potatoe would just need a man in his life that showed him interests that got him off the couch and onto the sporting field. Just a thought.
What about the X's? Do you know them? I think, that you just don't click enough to be in a relationship, so you just don't really need much of an excuse. If I really liked someone, I wouldn't really count them off because of some X's. Unless of course the X's were sitting at my dinner table or always crashing our private life.
My one daughter has AHDS and the other ADS. That can be a extremely difficult. It is wonderful that your son can use his outlet in sports. That makes it so much better. Does he take medications?
By the way......... How was Saturday night? You never updated? Did it go well, or was it awkward?
But the ex's should not rule your lives - you would have to put a stop to that. Like who has the perfect ex anyway????
And maybe the son's would be complimentary to each other? It is not like siblings are born to naturally get along!!
It sounds like you just don't see how you two would fit together. But maybe time will change that?
I think you should be careful because women tend to get emotionally attached, especially with sex. It is hard for us to tell the difference between passion and sex. You don't want to hurt her or ruin a good friendship.
Stereotypically - yes, women do tend to get attached emotionally.
But not all of them. I had a very successful FWB relationship. I KNEW he would never be more than that - all other reasons aside (his kids, my kids, my ex (who he knew), his ex (who I knew), he is an atheist and finds my beleif in God to be "silly", he isn't interested in music, etc., etc., etc., etc.) I simply wasn't in to him. But - I was good friends with him, I did find him physically attractive, I know he can't lie to me (sucks at it in the biggest way), and - I had always wondered what he would be like in bed.
He was GREAT in bed - and it was fun while it lasted. I discontinued the "benefits" portion of the friendship (but the friendship - which had existed for 10 years - remained) when I met someone I thought I may be interested in something more with. That someone was TT.
Mindy
http://cosmosandcranium.blogspot.com/
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