first valentines on my own...
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| Wed, 02-14-2007 - 12:37pm |
So I figured I would treat this day like every other day...that, I have found, is much harder than I thought. You see, he proposed on Valentine's Day. He was never much good on Valentine's so I don't have a bunch of happy memories of this day. It's kind of a relief to not have to constantly lower my expectations but there was something nice about HAVING some expectations....weird. I know I don't want the ex back, but I have to see him today and I feel it will be a little strange. I kind of hating him for giving me lousy Valentine's Days in the past and for another let down of a sort for "giving" me a lousy one this year. Even though I broke it off, I fought for so long to make it work and I get bitter about him just not being enough of what I need. I keep thinking "why couldn't he just be what I need?" but that's a stupid question...
Anyway, I'm rambling....it's nice to be on my own. It's nice to not be disappointed again today. It's good to know I have a life full of potentially great Valentine's. I guess this is all part of the game :)
So Happy Lower Your Expectations Day Girls!!
Hope you enjoy it with your little munchkins like I will :)

Oh my God do i know ALL about THAT!
It is nice to be on my own and not have someone hurting me or demanding anything of me. I am just "being" - happy - peaceful. It is like a neutral state.
I am not sad anymore about what my exh did or didn't do - and that is huge - it took years to get to this way. He simply was not the man for me and does not cause me any more pain.
I used to be sad on VDay that there was not someone there to love me or take me out or give me a card. But now I am happy that I am in charge of my life with no one to upset me. I just bought an expensive piece of sporting equipment for me. And I didn't have to ask permission or answer any questions about why. Why? Because I want it and I am worth it.
Oh honey- I know how you feel!
It isn't Lower Your Expectations Day, it's National Singles' Awareness Day!
Being single is a wonderful thing for me today. I sent flowers to my girlfriends, made scrpbooks with my kids- we're snowed in with about 27 inches of snow, and it hasn't stopped yet.
I also talked on the phone and through IM to a couple of different prospects, one of which I have a date with Saturday night. I read some of a book *I* wanted to read, ate what *I* wanted to eat, and just generally palled around at home with my kids, doing exactly what *I* wanted to do.
This may have been the single best valentine's day I've ever had- and I am fully and whooly single. It simply doesn't get any better than this.
Being single isn't something I regret or wish differently, although i am AWARE of what i do want in a relationship and a partner, and am actively looking for that. I just don't hate being single so much that I'm willing to tolerate things that I know aren't right for me.
I'm sorry this holiday has bad memories for you- maybe it's time to make new ones, for yourself, with yourself, so that you remember those. I've been doing this for a couple of years now, and it's just getting better. looking forward to doing something nice for my kids, my friends, and my parents is much better than a fancy dinner, chocolates and flowers from a guy, and SO much better than any other memories I have of the day, which were always a let down. this way, I have expectations, they're met, and I get a wonderful feeling of joy from doing what I do.
Moody, not hating NSAD
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Totally agree with you, West. I look at it this way, a side benefit to my divorce is that my X can't ruin any more holidays. Every year, on what would have been our anniversary, I get myself something I've always wanted, something I hinted at that he never paid attention to. And it wasn't just the self indulgent gifts he gave to me, it was the contempt he had for me. I refuse to hold on to the pain from those years, when he seemed to go out of his way to make things miserable for all of us. He is who he is, I'm just glad he's no longer my problem. I'm an optimist by nature, and I do try to see the positive in any adversity, so that helped me heal more quickly from what had become a seriously toxic relationship. My birthday is 12/23 and I figure it's great because my kids NEVER forget that it's my birthday, the Xmas holiday starts with Mom's birthday for them.
So, Alison, get out there and CELEBRATE!
I can totally relate to you Moody! This is probably the best Vday I have had simply because it was just like any other day.
I emailed friends and family and wished a good day to the ones I see every day.
I went for a long bike ride earlier in the day, amazed myself with a hard fast run later in the day. Ate a good dinner on my own. And watched a chick flick with my puppies. Had a good night's sleep.
DS went to his dad's house and they supposedly finished homework there.
I am happy being me.