Follow Boyfriend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Follow Boyfriend?
12
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 11:23pm

My boyfriend of 8 years is moving to Texas. This has been planned tenatively for about a yr but he sold his house in March with the intent he'd move down and I'd follow. The problem...I have 3 children by another man. I just got done battling him for custody and he was just granted suppervised visit last month. He abused me and the kids. I am terrified of starting a new battle of relocation with him.

Everything was fine until my bf told his mom I was moving down with him. She doesn't think its a good idea but said she wouldn't disown him as long as i lived in my own apartment. Its a long story as to why she is opposed to this but she does have a valid reason.

My problem is that the whole reason I could validate taking my kids away from friends and family was because it would be a better life financially, they would have a two parent home where there is no fighting, yelling etc..but now that I cant' live with him and I will basically be living the same life there that i am here...well i just can't justify it...any idea's...comments???

I'm absolutely devastated right now because he's leaving this weekend and at this point I am not plannign on going...

Thanks! S

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:46pm

I did see Monster-In-Law and thought it was HILARIOUS!! What a great movie!!

That is so neat you could watch it with your future MIL!! And that you could both laugh - and that she said she won't be like hers. So good! What a great start!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 9:26pm

I agree with Catherine.

If he wanted to be with you, then he would do whatever it took to make it work. If that meant that the two of you move to Texas and rent a house, that's what would happen. He's allowing his mother to be the reason that he can't move forward in his relationship with you. If he were serious about you, he would tell her what planet to get off on and not accept her offer to put a house in her name. Can I ask whether it was YOU who talked about living together, or him? Did he bring it up and say, "too bad my mom said no..."

Ask yourself if you are interested in a man who will allow his mother to call the shots.

Alison

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