fulltime single father have women issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2006
fulltime single father have women issues
7
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 5:08am

i just don't get this every women i have meet cannot except me for the fact i hvae a full time child! i was the man who took my son since his mother didn't want anyting to do with him cuz she rather party and hvae a boyfriend!

i just got dumped wiht a girl who said she was being selfish in that she wanted a guy that wowuld put her first not there kid first!?!>!>??!?! what is all this crap about?? i dont get it??? she didn't want to et hurt in the end and figured why bother when there are plenty of guys to choose from. she even has a kid and expects that person to not have kids with her since she doesn't want any more kids. i just think its so heartless! im tired of people being selfish to me and my son. i just dont know what to do since my pooor son has NO mother. im a good looking guy who has his degree in economics and working towards being a fireman.. i just dont get it.

im just venting! i figure ill be single for life since i dont want just any mother for my child! he has been motherless since he was born!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 6:49am

Welcome tchin21. We are sorry to hear of your circumstances that brought you to this board but we are glad to have you hear with us - it is always great to have another single father here.

Sorry to hear that you are now out of a relationship. We all know your pain in that one. How old are you?

It sounds to me like you are a great dad and the kind most of us are looking for!!!! Most of the women on this board have had luck with other single dads.

So hang in there. It is just a matter of time and patience to meet the right person who understands and appreciates that you are a person of integrity who made the right choice in life. Someone who has a busy life of their own - either with good activities or a child of their own will understand that you have your son to worry about and hopefully they will see it too that they get a chance to be in his life without doing all the work.

Your son deserves someone that will be good to both of you.

I hope you stick around and read our posts and help us with our questions. You can learn alot about dating here.

HUGS!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 9:36am

Hey there, tchin21. If I remember correctly, you were dating a woman living with her parents, and considering a move. Is that the same girl you're talking about here?

We all have been through relationships that didn't work out for one reason or another, but the bottom line is that they simply weren't right for us.

Any woman who would expect you to put her before your child is not the woman who should be in a relationship with you- or with your child. She should be dating men without children. Don't worry, though, there are tons of women interested in dating men with children. It's simply a matter of patience until you find the right one.

If I remember correctly, you're fairly young, as is your child, and his mother sees him occassionally, right? That's better than some kids have, so I wouldn't worry about finding him a mother, rather concentrate on finding yourself a suitable partner. Before you can do that, though, you must make yourself happy. NO ONE, no matter how perfect, will provide you with happiness.

Good luck, and stick around, you can learn a lot from the women here!

Moody, who isn't perfect either


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2007
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 11:52am

LOL where are you from again?? Hopefully close to me LMFAO..no I'm kidding..but the other ladies are right..most of us singles are looking for guys like you..that put their family first and are good guys. For me it seems hard to find that guy...guess we all have those feelings!

Kudos to you for putting your son first. Any woman/man who asks a parent to put them before my child...can go find someone else. I'd rather be alone than be with someone who was that selfish. That's just my two cents.

Good luck in finding that person that deserves and respects you!

Amanda
aka mom to Abigayle 1/29/04

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2006
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 12:31pm
yeah is the same girl i was talking about. it's done and over with. she is too self centered for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 1:21pm

OH wow - I had forgotten that you wrote to us before. I think it is better that you know now and you can look for someone who will be into you and your family. If you have that as a goal you will find her.

Sometimes when you are at a place doing fun kid activities you can look for a cute single mom doing the same.

Hope you feel better soon.

Your kid is one lucky kid. We all wish you a very special father's day!! Happy Father's Day!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 8:55pm

I am so sorry! I know exactly what ytou are talking about! That is why I just have not dated at all really since I had my daughter! But her father (and I use that term VERY loosly more like DNA doner!) has NEVER been a part of her life!!)

It really sucks to want so much for your kido and then have no way to give it to him/her!

My daughter told me this year that she wants a Daddy and I need a husband so we just need to go to Wal-Mart and buy one!! LOL Got to love'm!! If only it was that easy! LOL

But like others have said it is soooo much better that you know now! Instead of years down the road!

I wish I could meet a guy like you! You sound awesome!! And I know how hard and scare it is out there!!

I am a single Mom of 1 and run my own business out of my home! I think I have it together! LOL

I have faught through health problems so I understand the whole weight thing as well!! Even other Mom's look at you funny at school for A.) being single and B.) being chubby!!

Being a single parent sucks there is not two ways about it, but I know as long as you keep you eyes open you will find the right one who will be great fro your kido! Just don't not matter what ever settle! That is the worst possible thing you can do for you and your kido!

And if you would ever like to talk/chat just let me know!!! ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 10:18pm
I think it's great you chose your child over someone else. There's just too many times I have heard of someone choosing a boy/girlfriend over their child/ren. If only there were more like you out there!!!