Future outlook: 5 men & no Valentine...
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Future outlook: 5 men & no Valentine...
| Wed, 02-08-2006 - 2:37pm |
How can that be, that everytime ANY holiday comes around I don't have a romantic relationship? Valentines is a perfect example. Here I am, dating

A guy I know and I have been flirting for a couple of years now, we have the same group of friends, but nothing has ever come of it. I guess neither of us was ready to date, maybe (hopefully) now we are. So, we've had two dates, and I'll see him again on Friday.
I'm open to dating other people too, I just haven't met them yet...
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Oh Catherine!! On one hand I am happy that you are back on the board and that what you write is so sane and on the right track. Just hang in there until you find someone you really like who wants what you want and can be good for your future. It is only a matter of time because you are in a different place now than what you have been. I would certainly boot #1 to the curb. When they want sex with no strings that is good for them but not for you.
On the other hand I am sad for you for Vday. I know all too well what you mean because I am in the same boat - have been for a while. The thing is, you don't need a man to feel special. If you were with someone you would spend money on them - so this time spend it on you and the girls and make it special for all three.
I am so glad the cat and girls are okay now.
HUGS!!
Oh, I can totally relate, that DOES suck!
Thanks for the positive thoughts. I know that I don't need anyone to make me feel special, but I guess its just one of those Holidays I would love to experience again with someone special; along with my birthday, christmas and the 4th of July.
However, the move has definitely made me grow up. I already made huge leaps after the year of not dating, but now I have made huge leaps because I have spent the last 5 months getting adjusted to the States and taking so much alone time for myself. The dates I did have, just made me check off the good and bad for a potential relationship. I am really a very tough individual to please and I really have expectations and values that I feel I don't want to trade in.
You ask about black, white and grey. I think you just have to have an open mind and get the most important things. See the good in something - but see that without the craziness of sex too early involved.
I think the more things you do and the better you become, the more likely you will find the right one for you.
I think the best exercise is to try to see the good in things and to approach everything in a positive manner. This just makes you a better, happier person.
Eharmony had me list 10 must haves and 10 can't stands and I have stuck to these and thought that was a good idea. They are pretty serious - like no drugs, no alcohol, no addictions, no wrecklessness, parenting attitude that agrees with mine (read patience and positive, not beating and yelling), not lazy, careful with money, stuff like that. These are pretty serious and attainable. And really you would rather be alone than with someone who does one of these.
Now I think too picky would include tall, dark haired, doctor/lawyer - so I am trying to stay open to what he does and what he looks like. I am trying to be open to allowing chemistry to start slowly with the right person instead of having fireworks from the beginning with the wrong person.
Hope this helps. I really think you are on the right path. You should rent the movie Pride and Prejudice - the 5 hour version - then you will see the art of waiting for the right one! They wait and wait and wait - and guys don't call - they ride to your house on a horse. That is patience!! LOL!!
Cat:
Don't feel so bad. I have someone and I'll still be dateless on VD because we live so far away from each other. I usually don't see him during the week at all because of this -- 1 1/2 each was is just too much for the weeknights. But I do know what you mean about having someone special for all the holidays. I have wanted that for 8 years now. Hopefully, I have finally found it. But that's what makes Steve different from everyone else I ever met -- he's very family oriented and I don't think he will have a hard time getting to know my family. He just said today that he wants all our kids to get together more often. So, I know that the five of us is no problem. We'll have to see what happens with my family.
I can't believe that guy said it was only a cat. Like I said before, the fact that your girls have two different dads has nothing to do with it. There are just a lot of jerks out there. You know, sterotypes work both ways. Everyone I meet seems to think I am very conservative and a "goody-two-shoes". All I can say to that is you can't judge a book by its cover. What I'm trying to say is if a guy wants to only look on the surface and have pre-conceived ideas of who you are, he's not worth your time anyway.
Maybe one of those guys you are dating now will surprise you on Valentines Day. You never know.
Donna