Gimme Three Steps, Gimme Three Steps
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| Thu, 04-13-2006 - 4:26pm |
Mister, Gimme Three Steps Towards the Door....
Well, nothing super exciting, but something sort of.... strange, at least to me.
P and I were talking on the phone on Tuesday night, and I was getting ready to hang up... saying something to the effect of, "it was nice talking to you, I have to get some laundry done",... and out of the clear blue sky he tells me "Just so you know, I'm not interested in talking to or seeing anyone else."
So. Dead air for a minute, while I gather my thoughts, because I wasn't prepared for that AT ALL, we've been on two dates, and to me, they weren't bad but not wonderful. So, I finally said that I was dating casually until I knew for sure what I wanted, and with whom.
His reply was "So you're a player." Now- that annoyed me on several levels.
First of all, I consider "players" people who are dishonest and use others, neither of which can be said of me.
Secondly, I don't feel that I owe him anything. We have been on two very casual dates, and he's kissed me. It wasn't a passionate, making out kind of kiss, rather a simple goodnight kiss.
I have told him I'm looking for a long-term relationship with the right person, but that I am willing to take my time to find the right person. So- I have been honest with him, I don't think I'm playing games, I'm just being me. I'm not ready to date him exclusively, and I thought it would be better to tell him that outright than let him think otherwise.
Another thing that was sort of bothering me is that earlier in the conversation, he was pushing to see me this weekend. I had already told him without going into major detail that I had plans, and instead of simply asking when would be a more convenient time or something, he said he "had something for me for Easter"... I have kids and stuff to do with my family this weekend, I'm not giving up a major holiday to spend it with a guy I barely know!!
So, I reiterated that I was busy this weekend, but the more he pushed (and he wasn't being pushy in the technical sense, really, but it struck me as odd that he even kept at it after I said I had plans of any kind) the less I wanted to even talk to him.
UGH- the thing is, I don't want necessarily to stop seeing him, I'm just set to take this slowly. And maybe I'm more annoyed than I would normally be because of the lack of chemistry- maybe I'm looking for faults so I can have a reason to stop seeing him.
Maybe I'm insane!

He's annoying me just by reading your post! Yeah, I would say he is coming on strong, and yea, I would be a bit insulted by they 'player' comment.. He would push me away too...
You're not insane... You're right on track,and your feelers are up.. stick with your gut instinct.. it never leads your wrong..
Lisa
You are annoyed and you have every right to be annoyed. I wonder if he is one of those vacuum cleaner types that is more interested in having a relationship than who is he with. Others have run into this.
Go with exactly how you feel and communicate that. If he can't stand that then he should find someone else to play the game of relationship with. I don't blame you for not wanting to give up your family easter plans to be with a guy whom you are not that passionate about and with whom you have only had 2 casual dates.
He just has to chill or be gone.
I applaud you for sticking to your guns.
Doesn't sound like you're on the same page at all.
Look, playa... yea,I think you're being an idiot...I mean come on, you've had two dates and you SHOULD obviously be ready to move this guy in...
JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ugh!! A Player!! Are you kidding me! That was incredibly rude and insulting. He's not respecting you at all--even if he was kidding--or sort of kidding, regardless... No means no and he seems to keep trying to turn it into a maybe.
I keep running into these guys too...they want a serious relationship right NOW. And they say guys are afraid of committment!! Sheesh!!
Where are all the normal guys!!!
If he's worth keeping, he'll start listening to you. I would let him know that. I don't think you're picking him apart, I think he's not what you are looking for, it all.
good luck!!
--snow, queen of exclamation points
Remember, YOU are in control of the throttle of your relationships! You need to listen to your gut instinct. I have learned that it has never failed me. I had the same problem with a guy I dated not too long ago. I finally ended things and told him I couldn't see us as anything but friends. It didn't go over well, to put it mildly.
But, now I have met someone that is everything and more in what I wanted in a man. Don't ever settle!
Stephanie
Ok, thank you to everyone! I guess I was second guessing myself and my feelings way too much.
I think I was just concerned that the lack of chemistry on my behalf was causing me to see warning signs, and you all would point that out. Since I actually felt that the warning signs were (are?) there, I'm glad you agree with me!
By the way, before Tuesday we had contacted each other daily, either he would message me, or call, or I'd call him, and I haven't contacted him because frankly, I don't really care one way or the other at this point, and he hasn't contacted me either. He must have been put off by the fact that I'm a player.
So, if he does call and I'm free, I would possibly see him again, but there will be no more effort on my part. And since my sax comes in 3 days, I'll be busy busy busy!
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