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| Mon, 10-15-2007 - 9:15am |
Hello everyone - how is your Monday? Did you have a good weekend? Share!!
Here is my story:
Friday DS and I went to dinner. It is like our weekly date and we always chat a lot more when we are not stuck in the house. Not sure why of this phenomenon - but it is great for us.
Saturday DS goes to his dads and I go to bed early because I have a bike race very early Sunday morning.
Sunday bike race - fantastic! I took 2nd place for my age group and dropped my time by a minute. Then I made sure I took the time to talk to everyone there. Made a few new girlfriends who I will see at a biking party in a few weeks. And struck up a conversation with a guy who has the kindest eyes. Dummy me was not clever or quick enough to give him my number but it was at the end and we were on our way to our cars so it was not like I had a lot of time to talk and smooth that in. But he made sure to ask me if I was coming to the next race that is in a few weeks and I said YES. We like to go to the same races and I did tell him I am going to the end of the year awards party.
This morning one of the guys at the pool took an interest. We usually swim in lanes next to each other and he is a tad faster. I always joke that I swim with his feet. He DOES NOT wear a ring. I don't feel a special attraction to him - but he is nice.
Match is not bearing any fruit at the moment. Everyone writing is either good and way too far away or they are winking when they are not a match. One has written a few times but he is a cop who is younger and wants kids and that is just not a match.

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It's been a rough one for us... :-(
I found out on Friday evening that my middle brother, the one who just got married this past July, and seemed so happy and they seemed so perfect together... well, he tells me that they've been fighting since their honeymoon and that she's not the same person he married. Apparently she has severe anger issues and has been making some unreasonable demands and he has given in to them, in an attempt to make peace and make her happy. But after 3 months of this, and her STILL not being satisfied with his changes, and only getting more angry... he called me to ask what to do. And we had NO idea this was going on, because she made him promise to not tell ANYONE about it! Now she's pissed for him telling... but he is at the end of his rope- and knows that things are not good. (to make a total understatement)
So our family has been a bit stressed this weekend with discussions about all of this (as well as it being a total SHOCK) and trying to brainstorm. The only thing we know that will help -counseling- is an option that she claims she has already tried and refuses to try again. So we're not sure what they can do- except get divorced. My brother is just not quite ready to do that... but I'm not sure what else they can do, if she won't seek help (he is more than willing to do marriage counseling) and although she knows that she has this anger problem, she won't work on trying to figure out where it's coming from or how to fix it.
I'm also dealing with my best friend and her marriage falling apart- except hers is not a shock. They've been married 23 years and they've had rocky times for a few years now. But lately it's just gotten really bad because she's tired of pulling all the weight and him not getting help for HIS issues, either. He only wants medication and continue to live in a fog. But she doesn't want a zombie for a husband, either. Either he's a zombie, or he's a ball of anger. She can't live with either one. And he refuses to get counseling for exploring the source of his issues either (at least that was the case the last time I talked to her about it). I hope that he will decide to go, now that she made the move herself- to get her own counseling.
On a lighter side though- I am still having a good time with Hiker. We had a short date on Saturday to hit some golf balls- as he bought me a new set of clubs this past week, and I wanted to try them out. We didn't have time to actually play a round of golf- so all we did was hit some practice balls at the driving range. We spent some good time talking about stuff too- with all the marriage/fighting stuff going on with my friends and family... and it allowed an avenue for us to talk about relationship stuff. And I am left feeling VERY blessed to have my Hiker, and that we think the same way about all the things that matter. He is just the best man on the planet for me. :-) He's planning on picking up sushi and coming over tonight so we can watch Heroes together. And we both know that it also means... some personal playtime once the kids are soundly asleep for the night, too. hehe ;-)
I had a study session for my nursing school kids on Sunday, and it went well. As I'm typing, half the class is taking their exam this morning (the other half will start in an hour) and hopefully they'll all do well!
I'm tired! And it's not even stuff I'M doing- but just helping others through THEIR stuff that is so stressful!
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
That is a mess with your brother and his new wife and your friend and her ill husband, Shrimps!! Geez, with all of the advice you have thought through and given here, you would be great to help them find out what they have to work on. But hopefully they WANT to hear what you have to say and DO the things they need for their best outcomes. That is the tough part - not a lot of people are capable of much change.
Hugs to all.
At least you and Hiker had a fun time and are steadily going along. Slow and steady is very good. Very good.
Let's see...
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Way to go, Judy, on your very successful (on all fronts) race!
Sending validation and sympathy to Shrimps.
Judy...congratulations on the bike race!!!! What an inspiration you are. I LOVE bike riding and I'm just now beginning to ride mine more often. Looking forward to your next update on the fellow bike racer. HE sounds interesting!
Shrimps...I'm sorry to hear about your bro and your best friend. It is so hard to see loved ones going through such turmoil. I am sure that your support and listening must be a huge help for them, though. Sometimes it's that open ear that counts so much.
As for my weekend, I had a nice time. Friday I got to get all dressed up for a friends birthday dinner. It was a fancy schmancy restaurant and so I went and (overspent) on a dress. But it felt good to get all dressed up. Blue Eyes looked as handsome as usual. Here's one quick interjection about a comment he made
My weekend was pretty uneventful.
Once again, you come through with sound advice!
"I love you for your inner beauty".
Let me get this straight.
You have a great point.
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