A good reason NOT to date kid's teacher

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
A good reason NOT to date kid's teacher
9
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 10:37am

A good friend of mine is a single mom. Has never been married. She's dated lots of guys in the 14 years her son has been alive. Her son is one of the trainers for the football team and the coach asked her out. He's a divorced father and she thought he was cute and nice, etc. She went out with him twice, but just didn't feel chemistry beyong friendship and kinda got the creeps about dating her son's coach, so she just stopped returning calls. Okay, she took that coward's way out, but he kept calling...3 months later, he's still calling, leaving strange messages and even dropping by and leaving notes and jiggling her doorknob. He watched him leave her building one afternoon. She sleeps during the day because she goes in very early in the AM to work. She is scared. She called the school district and is planning to call the police once she gets a photo of him leaving her building again. The school admin is going to talk to him and tell him she is no longer interested and to not bother her but if he does, she is to reoprt it immediately.

Lesson learned....leave faculty alone.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 4:32pm

That *is* creepy- but I don't think it's because he's a coach or a teacher that makes it creepy. It just seems like he has that personality that might make him 'stalkerish' or consumingly controlling. But I seriously doubt it's because he is faculty.

Why can't some people just let things go? Especially when they went out only twice?? Scary!

~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 8:37am

I'm not sure it has anything to do with his being faculty. Teachers and school faculty are also humans, and are bound to have the same faults all the rest of us do.

My daughter's teacher is a friend of mine from high school, who married his high school sweetheart and began a family. He's a GREAT teacher, and a great dad. They have four kids at last count, and I couldn't be happier for him. This happiness that is in his life makes him a wonderful teacher (and male role model) for my daughter.

If he were single, and I didn't know him, I could easily see myself having as big a crush on him as my daughter does.

As far as leaving faculty alone, I think that may be a good idea, but it has nothing to do with the fact that this one in particular turned out to be a creep. Creeps are potentially everywhere, and you just have to weed them out.

Moody, who hasn't had a problem finding creeps in every occupation


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 9:03am

Oh I know creeps are all over. I've found my share. I guess what I meant is that her son works closely with this guy and she really did not know him well enough other than occasionally exchanges of "hello how are you?" and one day he just came up and asked her out. I think it was kinda foolish of her and she told me he asked her out and said she she was gonna go. I told her to be careful because if things did not work out it might be awkward for her son and for her having to see him still.

One hint...be honest...if you don't like a person...TELL THEM! Avoid awkward stalkers and frantic calls or visits....some people just don't get the hint.

---Mel thinks that if someone hasn't called, they aren't into me---

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 10:02am

I'll cast a dissenting vote.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 7:45pm

Just thought I would add my thoughts as a teacher. We are not all creepy and certainly some of us are even datable. I would never date a current student's dad, although several fantasies have kept me daydreaming at parent/teacher conferences lol.

Just because he is a coach doesn't make him creepy or make it anymore creepy. It is creepy all on its own. It also doesn't make it a Virginia Tech situation. The kid at VT was writing about killing people and child molestors. It is a big leap between jiggling someone's door to VT killings.

I think contacting the school was the best choice. The school doesn't want any issues and it puts the guy on notice that someone knows he was a little freaky. Schools don't want crap like that coming back to bite them in the butt. On the other hand, it might have been avoided if she had said she wasn't interested. All around, for all of us, it should be a lesson to learn from.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 12:50am

Neverdull; no offense was intended to you or any other public school instructors.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 2:19pm
I understood that. What makes it MORE creepy IS that this guy obviously has mental health issues AND he has authority over LOTS of innocent kids. & worse, he KNOWS this woman has a son he works with, yet that STILL doesnt keep him "in line" ... creepy!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 5:05pm

Soonee, I wasn't offended at all. I just didn't want everyone to be on the crazy teacher/coach bandwagon and forget that it doesn't matter what someone does or how you meet, we all meet crazies. By contacting the school, she probably cut off any issues that could have come up with this guy and how he may/may not treat her child.

The sad but true fact is -- crazy people work everywhere -- even with our kids. The other sad fact is -- it is really hard to get rid of them once they are in the school system. The upside is, the majority of us are awesome.

Now that you all know I am a teacher, I will be worried you guys will be checking my spelling and sentence structure. lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 9:48pm

I will be worried you guys will be checking my spelling and sentence structure. lol


Hehehe.... I wonder if a psychologist worries if someone will catch him/her losing his/her temper!


~s~