great guy......no commitment
Find a Conversation
great guy......no commitment
| Sat, 11-13-2004 - 11:04pm |
Hi, been a lurker for awhile but after reading the many posts, I realize that I am in the same situation. Great guy, no commitment !! I'm 38,(he's 40) my children are 9 & 14. My bf and I have been together for 2yrs (we live apart, his idea) but have known each other for 6yrs (mutual friends). We.ve both been divorced for a few years now. We get along great, we are very involved in each others families, we do everything together YET....
BUT here is his take on why not to get married right now. He is very anal about cleanliness and quiet, and my kids are typical and leave things around and have to be reminded to pick or do chores. He doesn't want for him to go crazy or to have them change the way they live now; I think we keep a pretty tidy house, but he prefers a showhome!! He seems to have very unreal expectations on what kids (he has none) are all about. They are not perfect, and my son can act up once in awhile. He sees us(5days a week) and stays over 1/2 the time, and is very good to them, we vacation together and he always is very generous with them. It hurts to think that until the kids are grown up he just can't live with us. I know they wish that this was more permanent, as they love him.It hurt last week when I found out he wants to build himself a new house ( 1 bedroom plus den)but closer to where I live . I think in my heart I know that this will come to an end by me, but I am afraid that my best friend will be gone. Is it wrong of me to want a commitment now or should I wait 10 yrs. There is a part of my heart that is truly missing, when I realized over this past year that this relationship will be ongoing. He says it is better to keep the relationship this way because we are all happy and no one is fighting in an unhappy household. Is it selfish to want a commitment, I know i will be losing a GREAT guy, or is he worth waiting for. LIFE is so hard sometimes, any advice? Thanks so much
BUT here is his take on why not to get married right now. He is very anal about cleanliness and quiet, and my kids are typical and leave things around and have to be reminded to pick or do chores. He doesn't want for him to go crazy or to have them change the way they live now; I think we keep a pretty tidy house, but he prefers a showhome!! He seems to have very unreal expectations on what kids (he has none) are all about. They are not perfect, and my son can act up once in awhile. He sees us(5days a week) and stays over 1/2 the time, and is very good to them, we vacation together and he always is very generous with them. It hurts to think that until the kids are grown up he just can't live with us. I know they wish that this was more permanent, as they love him.It hurt last week when I found out he wants to build himself a new house ( 1 bedroom plus den)but closer to where I live . I think in my heart I know that this will come to an end by me, but I am afraid that my best friend will be gone. Is it wrong of me to want a commitment now or should I wait 10 yrs. There is a part of my heart that is truly missing, when I realized over this past year that this relationship will be ongoing. He says it is better to keep the relationship this way because we are all happy and no one is fighting in an unhappy household. Is it selfish to want a commitment, I know i will be losing a GREAT guy, or is he worth waiting for. LIFE is so hard sometimes, any advice? Thanks so much

Pages
Pages