great, just great :)
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 12-18-2004 - 11:30pm |
Well, it's pretty much the way I figured it would be...he's laying the guilt trip on me....sending me messages, rather pissy ones. And he chooses messages where I said how much I miss him to put the pissy replies on. *rolling eyes* If we talk he will accuse me of not meaning it when I said it. Just because I couldn't, in good conscience, meet him this last time did NOT mean I didn't miss him.
All this has brought my feelings to a head, though. I did want more for us, but I never got anything definite from him. It's been a year and a half, and if he can't make plans (because of his career right now) that's fine...I'm not angry about it. I just don't want to be exclusive with someone who isn't here, and who isn't making any commitment to me. And I'm not sure I WANT him to make a commitment anyway. I think we just need to back off for awhile and relax about the whole thing.
I told him we could be just friends with benefits if he wanted, that I'd still enjoy seeing him, but that I don't want to be exclusive any more. He is just not around enough for that. I don't want to be off the market for a few years not knowing what his plans are, if any. He is NOT happy. *sigh*
So, pray that I can hold to what I know I need.

Hey sweetie....
Too bad things had to turn out that way. I don't agree that you should give this guy any benefits though, he doesn't deserve you!
Go out and get dating and have some fun this holiday season. If you're still sleeping with the guy, you may hold on to him and not allow yourself to move on. Since he doesn't seem to want to step up the relationship and make you more of a priority, you should seek out someone who can.
So get the girls together and go out and have some fun. Let everyone you know know that you're single and looking for fun!
HUGS
Alison
I would NOT give the benefits. But otherwise I think you are totally right and totally logical and good with this post. BRAVO to you. When you put yourself and your needs first then it all falls into place.
I really like how you understand that he is just not ready because of his career and you are not trying to manipulate him and you are not taking that personally. Very good!!
I think the holidays and such are bringing about this hubbub with him. But this too shall pass. You are so right to want someone who is there MORE for you and who will commit to you.
I'll only do it if I want to...the benefits. I'm not negotiating with him or anything. LOL
And it depends on how he behaves. I'm ready to walk if he can't be sweet about it.
I'm ready to get out and meet people. It feels good to belong to me again. I wonder if I'll ever really want to stay with anyone?
I'm getting some new things going and getting things together for my grad school application, too. I'm going to start teaching ESL at the newly formed hispanic church here in town. It will feel so good to be helping people with one of my skills!
Hey Candi,
You honestly deserve alot more then you are getting.
CL-Entrepreneurial Women
Business Impressions, LLC
Thanks Marilyn,
Maybe something will pop up over the Christmas holiday. :)
In the meantime I'm going to relax.
Candi,
I have nothing major to add here, but I wanted you to know that I read this, and I think you're awesome. I am proud of you for not wanting to settle for less than you want and need. He can whine all he wants. Life's tough and unfair and joyful and wonderful by turns. Guess he's in one of HIS "unfair" moments. Oh well. ;)