Great Weekend - Like to Share

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Great Weekend - Like to Share
11
Mon, 12-20-2004 - 12:54pm

Hi everyone. Techical computer problems have kept me off the board the last two weeks. I had a great weekend, and I just wanted to share that with everyone.

I got a call from my cousin Frank last Sunday night. It was Frank's younger brother that died this past July. We hadn't talked in a few months, and we ended up talking for about 2 hours. He asked me what I was doing this weekend, and he asked if I wanted to hang out with him on Saturday because he didn't have his kids, and neither did I. Frank's a single dad; he's 41 and I'm 39. He got married the same year I did. He was seperated for 2 years, and his divorce was just finalized about 6 months ago. It was a very ugly and messy divorce because his ex-wife is such a b****. I had plans for Saturday night with Paul, but I switched them for Friday. Well, I did something I've never done before -- I told a little white lie. When Friday came along, I wasn't feeling good, so I changed my plans with Paul to Saturday night, and I was going to blow off my cousin. Well, right before I was leaving the house to go shopping Saturday morning, my cousin called me to firm up plans. I was going to cancel, but then changed my mind. So, I called Paul and told him I was sick and that we couldn't go out Saturday. I felt bad for about 5 minutes, then I let it go. I figured it this way: Paul doesn't want a serious relationship, so I want to keep my options open.

Well, I definitely did the right thing. Me and my cousin met his friends up and this local hangout in his town. All his friends are around his age, single and/or divorced and very good looking. I felt like a hungry man at a smorgasboard. It was me, Frank, and half a dozen of his nice-looking friends. What more could a girl ask for! The last time that I was out at a club was back in June, and I was with Mark. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I was out at a club when I wasn't with a date. I'm definitely out of practice. The best part about it was is that Frank knew all these guys, and like he told me, if they were jerks, I wouldn't be hanging out with them. There were 2 guys I was definitely interested in. Then his friend Matt showed up. This guy is gorgeous -- I mean, drop dead, stop traffic gorgeous. He has the most beautiful blue eyes. (Eyes are the first thing I notice about men). After he showed up, I kind of forgot about everyone else. Unfortunately, he's dating someone right now, although my cousin says it's not serious. But Frank says everyone wants to date Matt (duh -- he's gorgeous and nice) and that I have a lot of competition. Anyway, so I may never have a chance with this guy, but I can dream. Like the saying goes, "A man without dreams is dead". Frank and Matt were supposed to meet up the next day to watch football, and Frank told me he'd put in a good word for me, but Frank stayed home. Frank said he'd give me Matt's e-mail address if I wanted it. I don't know about that. I don't know if I have the nerve to e-mail him. (1) I'm really out of dating practice; (2) I'm really shy and indimidated until I get to know someone. Ok ladies, what should I do? Come off of my cloud and forget about this guy, or send him an e-mail? What would you do?

Anyway, I had a great time and it was a great learning experience. It was just what I needed. I'm so use to being in a relationship, that I don't even know how to go "fishing" any more. Frank said he's going to change that. He said I can come out by him any time I want to. Sounds like I found a new fishing pond!!!!

Before we met up with his friends, my cousin and I were talking about on-line dating. He has a profile on Yahoo Personals, but he said he hasn't had much luck. I asked him to pull it up so I could see it. He definitely needs a better picture, but other than that, I thought it was good. I've thought about doing on-line dating, but again, I never had the nerve to try it. Frank helped me with a profile, took a picture and I am now officially "on line". It's really not a big deal, but I can say that if it wasn't for my cousin, it wouldn't have happened at all. Talking to and spending time with my cousin made me realize what a rut I am in. I met my exh when I was 18, married him at 22; was married for 10 years; didn't date for 2 years after he left; then I was in two long-term relationships and a short-term one after that. Big time rut! I think I need to hang out with cuz more often.

Now that I've rambled on like a 16-year-old, I have to go. Hope everyone has a nice holiday.

Donna

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 1:51pm

Donna,

I think you are right on in the way you handled all of this. Your story teaches us to have hope and be patient - you never know where there is a bright ray of sunshine just around the corner!!

Keep us posted!!

Pages