groan, put profile back up online

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
groan, put profile back up online
8
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 4:00pm
But, I'm not taking it too seriously. I figure if something comes of it, then that's fine. If not, it's okay too. I'm trying a lot of other things as well to meet people in the real world.

I was avoiding online because that's where I met my most recent boyfriend, but I decided that I shouldn't let him put me off from trying it again. He kind of made jokes that we met "online". His jokes really embarrassed me. It was like our relationship was less than it was because we met online. I mean, in the beginning, it is different when you meet that way. After a while though, it becomes irrelevant that you met that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 4:09pm
Good for you. Sending you well wishes.

I've never understood the stigma that comes from meeting online, whether it be a friend or a boyfriend or what. I am trying to plan a trip to meet two female friends, and whenever anyone asks how I know them and I respond "I met them on a message board" they suddenly look very concerned and ask "you met them ONLINE?????" As if I just said "Oh, you know, I was arrested one night and three of us were in jail in the holding cell together all weekend, and we just REALLY hit it off!" So silly!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 4:13pm
>>>I mean, in the beginning, it is different when you meet that way. After a while though, it becomes irrelevant that you met that way.<<<

I met my current boyfriend online. I used to think about how I'd feel telling people the way that we met, and I might feel embarrased about it. Now I don't think it matters either. People can think what they want, if I'm happy in the relationship then how we met does not matter.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 5:10pm
I think you should not be embarassed about it. It's beats saying you met your boyfriend at a bar...in my opinion.

And it allows you to pre-screen your dates for compatibility. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 6:29pm
Good for you!! Dust yourself off and climb back in the saddle so to speak.

I am hoping you keep us informed of your adventures - I love to hear about those. A few of my friends send links to profiles and it is always fun to see those and to hear the stories.

Feel free to do the same with us here!!

How fun!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 9:05am
Okay, I'll let you know if there are any adventures. It seems though that I'm getting tons of winks and no actual emails. Well, I got one email and it was disgusting. He asked to see a picture of me in a bathing suit. Very creepy.

The guys who have winked at me, each have something wrong with them or they didn't post a picture. One of the guys who winked seemed like a player. I haven't winked back to any of them. Let the guy pay for a subscription and send a darn email. Listen to me, I'm old fashioned about online dating LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 11:49am
I actually decided to take a break from dating, especially the online thing, for just those reasons.

But my fingers are crossed for you and I am waiting to hear adventures as they unfold. I am really good at critiquing a profile if you want to send the URL!! My friends always email them to me so I can find the "bugs" so to speak.

Let's see - a few of my favorite deal breakers:

"he doesn't want a woman with kids"

"he puts 'will tell you later' about his relationship status or children status"

"he is separated"

"he smokes"

"he travels all the time for work"

"he has a motorcycle" (I believe that is a no-no for a single mom but others may argue)

"he is married"

"he is agnostic"

"he drinks like a fish"

"he shows creepy pictures of himself with scant clothing - in underwear, etc."

Maybe I am burned out from online dating? I don't think I can have an open mind for the 40+ divorced set anymore......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 11:51am
I think it's a good thing that you put your profile back on line. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Plus, you seem to be pretty smart about the whole thing, and there's nothing wrong with being a bit old-fashioned about it either. There are so many people that meet people on line today, that I don't think on-line dating gets as much bad press as it used to. There's good and bad, but you have to look at it this way -- there's good and bad people out there -- period -- whether it's on line or not. I've never done on-line dating, and look at some of the frogs I met. You never know until you get to know someone.

Actually, yesterday at lunch, me and my girlfriend were talking about on-line dating, and I told her I was thinking about giving it a try, and I wanted her opinion. She was all for it, but she's pretty open-minded. Now my sister, on the other hand, was totally against it (of course, she has no clue what dating is like -- she's been married for 15 years). I decided to give it a try, but I'm going to wait a while for a couple of reasons: (1) I'm kind of burned out on dating right now and need a break; (2) After this last relationship went south, I came of with a list of things I wanted to accomplish in the next couple of months. I have a spare room in my basement that's filled with junk. I'm going to clean it out and paint, and it can be an "office", and I got a desk from my BIL that I'll put in there. After I get my income tax money, I should be able to afford a computer, and I can put it in my new "office". So, once I get a computer, I will defintely check out on-line dating. It's just going to take a while, but that's ok. I have enough to keep me busy in the meantime.

Please keep us posted on how it goes for you.

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 3:56pm
LOL imagine if people flirted with the same bravado in real life as they do online. Oh, wait, they do! LOL Those are the creeps we avoid like the plague right?

A good rule of thumb…people tend to think they can get away with a lot more online than in person…they feel a degree of safety about being less “reserved” over the internet than if they were meeting you in person on the street. It’s like they’ve skipped a step…the first impression.

So my theory is that what you’re seeing is who they truly are intensified by the safety of the internet. The true personality which would take a bit longer to manifest itself if you met under more traditional means…perhaps you wouldn’t see this behavior until the 3rd, 4th, 5th date…when he’s feeling more comfortable with you.

If your first online impression about a guy is that he is too bold, too pushy, too nasty, too “friendly”, too anything before you get a chance to meet him in person, skip him, plain and simple.