Guess Who Called Last Night?

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Registered: 05-05-2004
Guess Who Called Last Night?
5
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 1:41pm
Since I was child-free last night, I decided to go to the single parents' social. There were a few people there that I didn't meet last week. I had a good time, plus I made an important connection. I was talking to a guy who owns his own woodworking company, and he said he would give me an estimate on refinishing the hardwood floor in my bedroom. Since Mark's BIL got a DUI and stopped working in my house, I had no one else to do it, so I'm really happy about that. I was enjoying myself so much that I lost track of the time and I ended up getting home at 12:30, which is late for me. Just since going to this single parents' club twice, I've learned two things: (1) You might think your situation is bad, until you hear someone else's story, and then you realize that maybe you don't have it so bad. There's always someone else out that there that has it worse than you, and that can be comforting. It's nice to talk to people who are in a similar situation and understanding what you are going through. (2) There are a lot of people out there, you just have to find them. Since my breakup with Mark, I have been trying hard to make connections with old friends and to make new friends, because I need that right now. Plus I'm having fun doing it.

When I got home last night, there was a message from Mark on my answering machine. That surprised me because I hadn't heard from him in 2 1/2 weeks. He sounded kind of strange like he didn't know what to say. He said he had a lot of problems and he had been real busy that's why he hadn't called me. He thanked me for the box I sent him, and he said he would call me when he had a chance. I knew that if he ever called me, he would call and act like nothing was wrong and like we could pick up where we left off. I knew he would do that to me. I have mixed feelings about him right now. I will admit that I still miss him and that I'm not "over" him yet. He has caught me at a very vulnerable time, and that's not good because I don't do well in those kinds of situations. I usually cave in when I shouldn't. I hope I can have the strength to stay strong and do what I really want to do. I can be real cynical at times. Like when he said in his message that he would call me when he had time, I thought to myself, "don't go out of your way now". I can be such a b**** when I want to be. I need to keep that edge right now or Mark will walk all over me. I won't call him back. If he calls me, I would like to hear what he has to say for himself. But if he tries to hand me a bunch of BS, I'll know it, and I'm not going to fall for that stuff. I just hope I can stay strong. Wish me luck.

Donna

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 2:27pm

Stay strong!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 2:42pm

Hi Donna, I agree with your interpretation of what Mark is up to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 5:28pm
Hi Donna,

Isn't that always the way - they call back when you least expect it.

I would say that only time will tell you what to do. It is best for now if you get your life back on track without him - as you are doing with the singles' club. (That sounds wonderful, by the way!!)

I would say by his call that he felt bad for the ending (receiving the box) and that he should have said something to you in person but didn't have the guts.

Do you feel like you would want a second chance? What is really best for YOU???? I do not know your history with Mark so I can't really advise you - was he always good to you? And were you sure he went off with someone else? More info is needed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 11:46am
West:

To answer your question, Mark always treated me great, that's why when he did his "disappearing act" I was very surprised. He treated me better than anyone I ever dated, and we always had a great time together. When things ended, I was very disappointed because I really felt we had the potential to have a great relationship. We could talk about anything, and I felt he was always honest with me. Until a few weeks ago when I asked him if he was still talking to his ex-fiance. He said yes, but didn't give me an answer when I asked him why. Then I asked him if he was seeing her. He said no, then changed the subject. I don't have any proof that he is seeing his ex or anyone else. I just had a feeling something funny was going on. It was a complete character change for him. From day one, I knew about his ex, and when she started calling him again, he was always upfront about it with me. He hadn't mentioned her in weeks, and I figured she gave up. Then in a conversation he mentioned that he talked to her, which I think he didn't mean to let slip out. That's what got me suspicious. I have a definite opinioin about how he handles the situation with his ex. I don't think he's trying hard enough to get rid of her. Problem is, I never got the chance to really talk to him about that issue and other issues that I think we need to iron out. After that one call, he disappeared again for almost 3 weeks. Then he leaves that message on my machine.

As for a second chance, I don't know. Two days ago I would have said yes, I'd give him another chance. But I talked to him again last night (which I will post about), and after that conversation, I'm not so sure I want a second chance.

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 1:26pm
Do you know of the situation with his ex? Maybe he has some unresolved feelings or issues that he has to work out with her.

I think you should keep an open line of communication with him. Not that you are going to run back - just that you are now keeping an open mind - getting busy - dating other people - and it is okay for him to call - but he has some explaining to do now.

You do have to post your conversation from last night. I have a hunch that something else might be up - I will wait and see what you say about the phone call.