Hanging out w/ kids - help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Hanging out w/ kids - help!
7
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 6:41pm

I posted a few weeks back. A reminder of my situation: I am not a single mom, but I am dating a single dad. This is my first time dating a single dad and it's posing some brand-new challenges.


So, here's my latest freak-out...

I met his kids

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 7:42pm

Hello,


no need for the freak out. I think it's a good thing NOT to hang out with the kids too much. Meeting them once or twice is fine. The rest should be just the two of you.


As a mom, i don't want to involve my children until the relationship is solid (and by solid i mean 6 months of exclusive dating or longer). Yes, because children get attached very quickly. And let's face it, adults can get attached to the children too. that just isn't fair to either party.


If it still concerns you.. the best thing to do is ASK him how he feels. If you want,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2008
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 8:18pm

I'm a bit like you.

KLM
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 8:36pm

You don't say how long you've been dating this guy- your last post was at the beginning of August when you first met the kids...

I don't think you need to worry about it, you've met them and you got along so that's good. Since he only has them part time, he's more likely going to be focused on spending as much time with them as possible, and in time he may include you more.

If you haven't, you should probably talk to him about how the kids have reacted to you, if there's any negativity or concerns on their part- or on his. Some kids do get really attached, so he may just be cautious at this point.

How long has he been divorced?

The boy

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 9:05pm

Thanks for your replies, everyone. They help a lot!

To answer your questions... We have been dating for about eight months, but we've only been exclusive since the end of July. He has been divorced

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 11:37pm

Hmmm... well two months exclusive isn't long, so it doesn't seem to be an issue yet.

All I can say, is enjoy the time alone for now :)

The boy

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 2:58pm

Much of my answer depends on how long youve been dating this guy. If its under 6 months, I think kids shouldnt be invloved at all, or meet the SO. But thats me.


& no matter HOW long youve been seeing him - unless you are engaged or long term committed (& maybe even not then!), i see no reason for you to be at any more than an occassional visit with his kids. We TOTALLY resented my step-mom as kids b/c even b4 they got married, EVERY visit was with her & her kids. & so many times my dad promised us something & if HER kids didnt want to, or she couldnt, then he cancelled the special trip or whatever.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 12:22pm
>> We TOTALLY resented my step-mom as kids b/c even b4 they got married, EVERY visit was with her & her kids. & so many times my dad promised us something & if HER kids didnt want to, or she couldnt, then he cancelled the special trip or whatever.

AJ, enjoying life with C.