Has this ever happened to you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Has this ever happened to you?
8
Fri, 10-31-2008 - 10:55pm

I got into communicating with this guy off of POF. He is brilliant, his emails are hysterical, he totally has my sense of humor, tons of interests in common. But...he's not that great looking. Granted the pics he sent weren't great...

I would love to meet this guy, but I am afraid that the horrible, shallow part of me will win over and not give him the time of day. He's educated, funny, a little nuts. My kind of guy. I'm not sure if I should continue on or just kind of fade away because if I don't feel any "spark" I don't think it is fair to him, either.

Then there is another one, also smart and funny, also has my quirky sense of humor, pretty cute, but lives a little far away. He wants to meet soon. I used to live in his exact neighborhood in NYC (a neighborhood that is not that popular), so he has been amused at the places I know. Doesn't seem fazed about the distance. Reads. Goes to the theater.

The brains in me is interested in guy #1, the girl with a sense of fun is interested in #2. I am trying not to be all about the looks, but, hell, I am an old fart and want to have some fun. Does this happen to anyone else, and what did you do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Fri, 10-31-2008 - 11:09pm

Not too bad of a problem to have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 12:41am
I know what you mean. But it was weird that my reaction to the pictures was so "blech", and yet, his words were making me so interested. Never had that happen before. Part of me is intrigued to see if he can carry it over to real life!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 2:20am
Well Duck Fan is very attractive to me but he isn't drop dead either. He's tall, has incredibly blue eyes, gorgeous lips, hair that is graying at the temples (hot on a man) and very sexy arms and hands. However he has what I lovingly call a little cuddle on him. He's like a big teddybear. He also happens to be brilliant, amazingly funny, sweet, passionate, a great cook, a mindblowing lover, and the list goes on. When we met I found him attractive but there was no spark. When we actually went on our first date though there was not sparks but fireworks. You just never know.
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 7:02am

I have been there done that like you describe guy #1. RG was handsome, in shape, and a treat for the eyes but never wanted to do anything I wanted to. So I met EMT, who is out of shape but does have a nice smile and pleasant face, BUT he wants to do all the things I do and is fun to be around and is all that RG is not. I am done with the pretty boys and athletic hard bodies. I will take EMT over any hunk any day.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 7:03am

ps.If the initial attraction isnt there give the personality time. The attraction will form if the personality is there.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 11:26am
I wouldn't give personal attraction too much time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 12:01pm

BRITISH GUY! Yes!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 2:04pm

i've had that happen... and my opinion is that if the photo is "blech" then don't waste your time. physical chemistry plays a huge part. it's not being shallow, it's what attracts us to one another. that's why i don't have lenghty email chats with someone until i know what they look like.... doesn't have to be super hot but should have something attractive or that catches my eye.....


mho,


Loonybunny