Have you dated a guy with kids?
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Have you dated a guy with kids?
| Thu, 06-03-2004 - 7:24pm |
Hi to all:
I am new to this board and really like it so far!! What a great group of people.
I am curious to hear all of your experiences as a mom dating a guy who has children from a previous marriage.
Good or bad - please share!!
THANKS!
Edited 6/3/2004 7:28 pm ET ET by west1745

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It's a really delicate balance. I have had to learn to love the kids as my own (I have a 7 yr old daughter) but not expect them to love me like they do their mom. Also, discipline is tricky. Because they are young, I do play a role in how they are disciplined for minor stuff, but for the big stuff I defer to their father. Luckily we have a very good understanding and agreement on how to discipline children.
If you are just starting out dating and are not that serious yet, the key thing to remember is that he is a father and he has obligations and although he may want to spend alot of his time with you, he can't. You didn't mention if you have kids or not, but if you do, then you will probably totally understand that! And...together you can both understand eachother and make a go of it. :)
Good luck.
I'm not very good at this but I'll try. I've dated on and off (mostly off). 1 guy I dated for 3 or so months-he didnt have kids. Another guy I dated for a few months- he did. I felt more "sparks" with the one with kids-he knew where I was coming from and understood that I couldnt' go out at the drop of a hat. The one without kids didnt understand he couldn't call me at 11pm wanting to go out and me being able to go.
I'm more interested in finding someone who has kids. When I meet someone without kids, I tend to wonder "Do they LIKE kids???" cuz my kids are my world and we are a package deal!
First of all, I didn't know how early on in his divorce he was. His ex was hateful so he used me to validate how great he was. And his ex loved to use their daughter against him because of me. The worst part was that I was never able to be around DD. He was able to be around my DS though. So he would come over but if his ex called to claim DD wanted to stay with him that night, he'd have to jump in his truck and head over. Otherwise, she'd get DD out inthe middle of the night and go looking for him.
I decided that he needed to go. He let his ex control him too much. I would have dated men with kids after that, but I ended up falling for and marrying the man I'm with and he has none of his own. But I know he will be a great daddy when we have our own because he's excellent with my son, Dylan.
Mel
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Maggie
Hi west,
Oh boy, do I have experience.
No I never have. I had the opportunity a few times, but it just didn't "click". I would have.
Hi there
I really only dated one man who had kids and it was very casual dating.
DH was different...he is the non custodial parent, but still tries to be involved...and our visitation schedules worked out really well, kids gone at the same time, kids home at the same time..it fit this time.
Sherry<with 3 kids, 2 beautiful granddaughters
Sherry
I think I remember when you dated that second guy! ha, aren't you glad you got rid of him!?
Sherry<with 3 kids, 2 beautiful granddaughters
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