Having the worst luck
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Having the worst luck
| Sat, 01-27-2007 - 6:43pm |
Hello all,
Yes it is me again. I must have calling all jerks written on me. Just started dating about five months ago and all I seem to pick up are guys who move to fast and guys who are in their 40 acting like a teenager. So I went to dinner out with that guy that wanted to cook for me. Lets just call him Mr. Hands. I told him how I felt and guess what no call today. I just want to meet a nice guy who respect me. I did feel what I though was chemistry between us, and maybe being alone for 3 years didn't help but I want to take it slow. I don't want to be a one night stand or a booty call. It took alot for me to start dating. I really do miss having someone to be close to. But my marriage was abuse of all kinds and my trust is a big thing. And I don't ever want to have my heart ripped out again. But I do need to start living. So where are the nice guys in this world. Thank you for listing. Any advice I would be thankful. Miss sad
Yes it is me again. I must have calling all jerks written on me. Just started dating about five months ago and all I seem to pick up are guys who move to fast and guys who are in their 40 acting like a teenager. So I went to dinner out with that guy that wanted to cook for me. Lets just call him Mr. Hands. I told him how I felt and guess what no call today. I just want to meet a nice guy who respect me. I did feel what I though was chemistry between us, and maybe being alone for 3 years didn't help but I want to take it slow. I don't want to be a one night stand or a booty call. It took alot for me to start dating. I really do miss having someone to be close to. But my marriage was abuse of all kinds and my trust is a big thing. And I don't ever want to have my heart ripped out again. But I do need to start living. So where are the nice guys in this world. Thank you for listing. Any advice I would be thankful. Miss sad

Don't be sad! Be happy that you weeded out MrOneNightStandOnlyWantsSex! You did great with that decision. And you know what? Just say, NEXT! There is always another one to come along.
You did absolutely nothing wrong. You totally deserve a great guy who will be into you and love you and keep your heart safe. And to find this one, you have to roll up your sleeves and be prepared to deal with some toads.
Believe me, there are plenty of toads out there. My first two years after my divorce I went on this dating mission with online dating. And I ran into toad after toad after toad.
But now I know how to screen and kick out a toad in just a few conversations. It is easy to tell by how they talk to you - are they into you or do they just drone on about themselves? Do they call when they say they will call? Do they have red flags with their life situation? What are they asking you to do for your first date? Do not ever go to a house - it should be something YOU are comfortable with.
I always say - "guilty until proven innocent!" LOL!! That keeps my heart from racing and getting me in trouble!!
There's this song I'm loving right now. The chorus goes, "Here's to the liars and the cheaters and the cold mistreaters, to the mama's boys who can't make a stand. Here's to the superficial players, the "I love you" too soon sayers, if you hear me girls, raise your hand. Let's have a toast, here's to finding a good man." The second verse is probably my favorite- it goes "Blind dates and horror stories, pushy guys and fast movers. Let's dediecate this girls' night out to big talkers, bad losers. It's so hard finding a good man."
Sweetapple, I know right now, since you've had a string of bad dates, it probably feels like you'll never find a good man- but trust me, you will. You simply have to believe it, stick to your standards, and refuse to accept less than you deserve. Dating can be a lot of work, but it can also be a lot of fun.
Don't think about it as looking for a nice guy, think about it enjoying yourself for the evening. If you do, great, maybe then think about enjoying yourself next time. Don't think about finding a man so much as pleasing yourself. Does it please you to date- and if not, don't. Concentrate on making yourself happy and what you want to do, rather than thinking about the guy.
Keep us updated, and know that we ALL have had to deal with these guys. You're learning fairly quickly that they aren't for you, and that's a major thing for some people!
Moody, raising her glass in a toast
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I agree with everything West said.
My advice would be to toughen up. You are going to have tons of bad dates. Keep on moving. One thing about Mr. Hands, do not accept any dates for homecooked meals or watching a DVD at his house...keep all dates out in the open, in public places where you can't make out or have sex with the guy. Know his intentions before moving into one-on-one dates in private locations.
Here's hoping your luck turns around and we can call you Miss Happy.