He called and we went out
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| Sun, 11-19-2006 - 11:29am |
Okay girls,
My coach gave me a couple of weeks off from training. At first I was about to go crazy and then I realized all the things I should be doing to get ready for when it comes time to train again.
So, yesterday I had this incredible amount of energy. It was like I only had one day to clean the whole house. I mean closets, refrigerator, pantry, outdoors, even the car. Clean and organized is now the name of our casa!!
At the end of the day, the puppies and I were watching a chick flick. And the phone rang. And it was him!! He wanted to know if I wanted to go for a ride this morning. So I said yes and he met me near my neighborhood. And we talked a lot and had a blast. Neither one wanted the ride to end and we did an extra loop.
There is not this wild attraction, but I am not going to say I am not attracted either. I think there is something there that would build. At a sane pace. And I cannot see any red flags at this point. Although my sister just texted me and said she has a story after going out to dinner with his parents.
Only time will tell. But he does want to ride again. And get into my sport. I guess I will have to give him a name for the purpose of this board - Runner.
As a funny story, when I was talking on the phone last night, my big puppy sat next to me with his head by the phone and he let out the biggest belch you have ever heard!!! I was just about to hang up and had to struggle with myself not to laugh really loud - it was so funny and I just didn't know what to say. I felt like a ridiculous teenage girl!! I mean, I hope he didn't think that was ME!
Okay - I will keep you posted. His kids are coming in from out of town to celebrate Thanksgiving with him this week - he mentioned that he wants to ride next weekend.
At the very least, it would be a fun new local training partner.

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Believe me, I have had plenty of Double D types, too. Where I really liked them and hoped it went somewhere. Sometimes it did and sometimes it didn't. The most notorious was the "deep connection" I felt with my former coach - we spent every day together and became unbelievable friends. I always hoped and hoped - and you know what? That taught me a lesson and I won't make that mistake again. No one is going to get that much time with me unless they are exclusively dating me!!
Have you heard anything about when DD is coming back?
I have had a few more thoughts about Runner.
- I don't want to be stuck riding with him every Sunday - I do have my own workout that I have to complete and I also want to go and ride with my friend in Miami when I can. And I do use my rides as a way of meeting people - so don't want to be stuck with him in that way. So I will give him another ride or two and if he doesn't ask me out for more - or at least coffee - then that is it.
- Something that did just occur to me is that he didn't shave and showed up late to the ride. We were riding 2 hours later than he usually runs - so it isn't like he was up uncommonly early. Now, to give him the benefit of the doubt, if you are not used to riding it is surprising at how much time it does take to get everything ready. So he doesn't get any strikes or flags for that - but it shows that he was not busting a you-know-what to impress me.
- I still want to go to all of my holiday parties to see what else is out there.
- I am thinking more about my race schedule and goals for next year than him.
I am thinking about me instead of trying to impress him or get him. And that is a HUGE step for ME.
Edited 11/21/2006 7:05 pm ET by cl-west1745
"I am thinking about me instead of trying to impress him or get him."
That is SOOOO true about what we do, isn't it???
I agree!!! This is key to staying sane, and staying true to ourselves and our children. Something I'm cautious of not falling into...
That's another reason I'm grateful for this board. I'm sure if you all heard me starting to talk like I HAD to have someone i met and was making inappropriate changes/sacrifices for a man... You all would let me know.
Thanks for this board and everyone here.
Showing some love,
Loonybunny
Well, now my interest is starting to wane.
This week he called again and wanted more advice on his training and racing. While that was cute at first it is getting a little old. I mean, it is all about him.
So, I suggested he get a good local coach who will help him with all of that because it really is out of my league. I don't want to spend hours on the phone talking to him and giving him advice. I mean, I don't even do that with my own coach!!
So after I said I think you would do great to get this coach, he said he still wants to give me a call again and talk some more about his training.
That just really turned me off.
And to make matters worse, I sent a nice note to the coach to whom I referred him to give him a heads up about the matter. And the coach wrote back and said he has worked with him before. Huh? I thought that to be strange.
What I really think now is that Runner is not at all over his bad marriage and horrific divorce. He doesn't speak to his exw - it seems that the only contact they have is when she wants more money and serves him papers. And they have plenty of time - the divorce was many years ago.
I think that he sunk himself in major running miles and work as a way of coping with his situation. And now that he has injuries he is trying to do the same with my sport - and it is all about him. I just don't feel from what I have seen that he is emotionally available/capable of a relationship/dating nor is he "that into ME"
I mean, it is cute for him to call and say he wants to get into the sport. And okay for a bike ride. But then it seems to be time for him to ask me questions about me and want to go on a date of some sort - even if it is just coffee or lunch. Y'all know I am not the speedy sort - but that is ridiculous and a turn off. I am tired of talking to him about him on the phone!!
I feel sorry for him - but I am not a coach, counselor and training partner for someone who needs an escape. No slack, no mercy, no regrets.
On a bright note, my own coach just floored me with the goal that I can qualify for a very big race next year which would be just wonderful for me - never thought I was capable. But apparently he is happy with the progress I have made over these past months and thinks I can do it. So that is my goal now. I feel so happy and so lucky.
And I do have a few fun holiday parties coming up - plus lots of chances to be out there meeting people while training. Another reason for me NOT to be stuck with this guy.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that! But I have to say... it wasn't like he ever misled you, really. Even the initial reason for contacting you was to ask about your training... and so that's exactly what he'd been doing. It just bites though- because it would've been nice to have it become more, just for a good story's sake. On a positive side... you DO know that you do know enough about this to be a good source for advice! And- you weren't that "wow'ed" by him anyway.
But still... next!
~shrimpy, back to work now that the T-giving feasting and dishes are done...
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Thanks, Shrimps.
It surely would have been fun to entertain us all on here with a better story. But maybe there is one around the corner.
It sounds like you must have cooked up a feast at your house - I hope your dinner was splendid!!
Regardless of whether a new interest works out or doesn't work out... the important thing is you have your head on straight and your priorities in order!
Stephanie
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