He called....but
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| Fri, 02-02-2007 - 10:01am |
Okay so he called last night.. BUT the thing is that he called at 3:30 AM.... that's right in the middle of the night. If he wasn't sooo cute I'd write him off already.
So, on the positive side.. he called. Said I left a really good impression and he wants to see me again. He's really fun to talk to, and funny...but a little pushy. He wanted to come over... in the middle of the night... give me a break. I told him no (on soo many levels). Then he said his excuse was that he's going on another training mission on Sunday (he's a NAVY SEAL) and wanted to see me again before he goes... I told him call back during normal hours, we'll set up something for Saturday night (that's when I'm most likely to have a sitter).... He apologized for calling so late and said that I could call him tonight after midnight to make it even.
I'll admit I'm flattered but I'll be careful with this one... BTW, he couldn't remember where I lived and that was probably a good thing. I was tempted to let him come over because snuggling with someone does sound nice, but I told him I need to get to know him first.
Fling---hmmm not a bad thing for me at this point.
Honest feedback welcome....
LB

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OK, given the time he called, it's pretty clear he wants sex. All very well if this is what you want too, but please, please be careful. You know nothing about this guy - there are some weirdos out there and you have yourself plus the kids to think about. I would strongly recommend that you do not let him in the house, in your bed especially, when the kids are there. This could have damaging consequences for your children's perception of you, and of adult relationships.
If he really wants to see you, and get to know you, he can wait until after his training mission. Or see you on Saturday night, preferably early, so you both start off sober...
He may be fun and cute, but you need to look out for #1. If he acts like this with you, he is obviously a charmer, and is more than likely sleeping with other women too. Say no more...
I really don't want to sound like I am lecturing you here, but I worry about you driving after a night out drinking. I made the dreadful mistake once of having one glass too many at a dinner party, was pulled over, was over the limit, and had my licence taken away for three months. Getting two kids to school, and myself to work 20 miles from home, without a car, was NOT an experience I would want to go through again.
Good luck, and take care.
Clem xx
Edited 2/2/2007 10:32 am ET by missclemmy
Hey, my first impression was.. was he drunk when he called you? 3 am.. that's pretty rude. Well, anyways, it's obvious the only thing he's interested in is to have some fun. Sounds like it's gonna be a call buddy relationship. He will only call you when he wants to have fun, and it will usually be .. night time? I don't think your needs or feelings will be taken into any consideration. But that's what you want, right? Just to have some fun?
Cheers
I look into my "crystal ball" and I see a few things.
1) HE is hot, a navy SEAL and so much chemistry - kind of like a drug that is exciting and short lasting - just for sex - an adrenalin rush.
2) NO stability or interest in you as a person. Here today gone tomorrow. Worse still I see no respect for you as a mom or for your children and this is shown by the time he calls and by what he did in your house with the kids present - the water trick. Only selfish ways. He would hook you emotionally and leaving you gasping for more only to call sporadically or not at all.
3) Disaster for you - I know you say a fling is fun - but I have yet to see a woman who can have the fling and forget them and say she just had fun. I speak for these boards, myself and countless friends - the university of hard knocks. You will have the fling and then you will get attached - our hormones work this way and it has been proven scientifically. Then you will be confused and upset that he doesn't call.
My advise? Don't do the drug! Just keep getting out there and meet someone else. Watch the phone ring and don't answer - this will boost your ego - see he is good for that.
If this is tempting you, it is a sign that you don't have your life fun enough yet - you have to get out more and make more friends - and you will - it just takes time.
But as you know, whatever you decide, I respect your opinion - because you are you and you are not me. And we like having you here and hearing your stories. 3AM drunk dialing is a booty call for sure.
Calling at 3 am, and with the story/reason that he did it because he was leaving on Sunday?!?? That is a flashing red neon sign saying "Fling" and "Booty Call". Get real! He was calling because he'd gone out partying last night but didn't find anyone to go home with.
Like I said before, if that is what you want, then power (and lots of personal protection) to you! But if you want more than that, then continue to say NO... not 'maybe'- but NO!!! And don't look back! I think what you told him last night was "maybe".
I'm sorry, -and I think my Hiker is cute as a bug too- but NO ONE is *that* cute to be calling me at 3am. :-P lol
C'mon LB- don't teach the men of the world that they can treat women this way and we'd think it was "cute" and let them get away with it. I did the same thing in my 20's- and what did it get me? LOTS of first-meetings, first kisses (and making out) but not alot of real dates or true relationships. And I know we CAN'T ever end up teaching all the men anything anyway (like you were single-handedly taking on the population)- but you can at least not find yourself looking back and seeing how you've just bounced from one superficial interest to another, hoping that it'll turn into something more. I felt like I was grasping for ANY scrap of attention back then... I can't believe I did that, but I did! Wait for the REAL interest of a good person, not the 'flingy' interest of a purely sex-driven booty call.
I really wish I knew then what I knew now...
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Miss Clemmy
Thanks for the reminder about NOT wanting the kids to see a man in the house that they don't know... What was I thinking?? I caught on that he was a charmer... but for some reason I'm thinking I can take him...
West
I totally respect your opinion and you are probably spot on. He is hot. He has a face like a movie star and a nice bod… His charm and wit… so irresistible. But I shall resist… One part of me says I should RUN and yet, another part says… “come on. A little won’t hurt.”
There’s even an article on ivillage that says “5 guys all woman should date” at least once…. And I read that article and thought this guy might be between the Mr. Nice Romantic (the offer to cuddle) and Mr. Man’s Man (Navy SEAL). So I’m curious and haven’t made a final decision.
Shrimpy
I would probably give that same advice to my girl friends. Sometimes it is so much easier to see warning signs when they happen in other people’s life. With this one, it does feel like a game but I’m not as naïve as I used to be…
Thanks for all the support… and I knew I’d get cautions on this one.
With eyes wide open,
LB
Hi Looneybunny,
Prior to my response here, I've just been a lurker, but I feel compelled to respond to your post.
Is this guy in highschool? He has absolutely no respect for you or the fact that u have children calling at this time of the night/morning. Did his mama not teach him any better? You've got to set the standards for these guys from the get go. If a guy called me in the middle of the night like this, alarming the cr*p out of me and probably awakening my daughters, I'd have reamed him a new one. I'd also question his sanity. This guy doesn't even know you yet! Think seriously about the flakey behaviors you have in store for you should u keep him around. Just a suggestion.
Gypsy
"Safe" sexual flings do not call your house at 3 AM saying they are Navy Seals and they want to come over right then and there. He wanted to get laid and write you off by Sunday. That's why he built in the excuse of the training mission.
He obviously doesn't give a crap about you or your kids. I repeat, he called you at 3 AM for a booty call. He had probably been out at some bar, struck out with all the ladies there and thought, "what the heck. i'll call that chick i saw last weekend." I would be wildly pissed off if someone I knew called me at 3 AM any day of the week. But, if stranger called me at 3 AM during the work week, I would let fly a string of curse words that would make a Navy Seal blush.
This guy screams STD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a sleazeball! I would not call this guy or set anything up with him at all. Vibrator sounds like a much better option.
Loony, I haven't read ahead, so forgive me if I repeat anything.
When a man calls a woman he is not seriously romantically involved with (and there's no major emergency) after midnight, it's a booty call.
If you're cool with that, by all means, pursue this. But be honest with yourself- don't start having sex with him unless and until you KNOW that sex is all you're looking for from him.
And if he couldn't remember where you lived, he was probably too drunk to be driving in the first place. Be aware, and don't ever ride with him!
Moody, who isn't looking for a fling anymore, but remembers all too well how much fun they can be
Edited 2/2/2007 4:22 pm ET by moodygrneyes25
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You do catch 2 important points that I missed:
- calling that late on a work night
- STD
GOOD post!
I, too, had not latched onto the fact that it was a week night.
Have you decided whether to see him, Loony?
Clem xx
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