Is he flirting or just being friendly?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Is he flirting or just being friendly?
8
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 4:18pm

I hate that question... but nonetheless that's my question....

So I get a call today (at work) from the host of the party.... He says, "Hi, It's ***. So I see you got home from the party safely...." I laugh and say "Sure, no problem" "Just checking on you," he says, "did you have fun?"

I said, "I had a blast!" He says, "I saw your pictures on my counter on so-and-so's myspace" So, I say,"I think I'm not going to look at the video though...ha ha ha" He says, "Are you kidding me? I've seen the video over and over again." both of us laughing

then I say "Definately a party I won't forget." and he says, "we'll have to have more parties like that..."

Nice of him to call, I think. but i don't want to make too much of it...
So what do ya think?

Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 4:19pm
Keep you cool until he PROVES he is flirting and has other interests. And then make sure they are the right interests! Of course we can help with that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 5:36pm

I think being female sucks sometimes. That's what I think.

We drive ourselves crazy wondering if he's flirting, means it, simply nice, flirts with everyone.... are YOU into him?

I just finished a book I really liked and it talked about not caring whether the guy was into you if you weren't into HIM. It doesn't matter his motivation if you know you don't want to be with him as anything more than a coworker.

So... do you? If not, don't even give him or his actions another thought. If you do, how are you conveying this to him? I'm not saying throw yourself at him, but flirt back. If he's not interested, it isn't the end of the world.

Moody, into Double D and overthinking everything


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 10:31pm
That's practical advice now but let's be fair. Guys have just as much difficulty knowing if we're into them. Time will tell, but the important question remains...."Are YOU into him?" If you are not, make it clear by saying "You're such a good friend, like a brother to me" If you are unsure, invite him to coffee or lunch in the park, something not too distracting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 9:26am

>>We drive ourselves crazy wondering if he's flirting, means it, simply nice, flirts with everyone<< How funny... that's exactly what I'm OVERthinking about....

Am I into him?.....well, he's good looking. he's like a local celebrity. owns a beautiful house. funny. and I feel comfortable talking to him. So, yes, i'm interested but i don't have a crush....because that would be bad... and I would get REALLY stupid/giddy.

I'm gonna take the "keep it cool" advice. Since I work with him...i don't want to make things uncomfortable. Oh my, I'm feeling those teenage anxieties.... ya know, if I say "hi" he might think i like him like him... silly, isn't it.

BUT he said he plans to throw more parties/get-togethers... so I will play it cool til then.

Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 4:56pm
The way I'm reading the conversation, it sounds kind of cheesy. I mean, if it's flirting, then it's strictly sexual. Someone looking for a booty call, not someone who's looking to be friends or respect you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 10:41am
Good point to stay on guard about...For me, I don't take myself too seriously ... if that was the case... I wouldn't have danced on the counter. I'm kind of a cheesy flirt, too, (hence the name loonybunny).
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 7:09pm

Hmmm,
I'd say he's testing the waters for some extra curriculars. I'd give him very mild flirts back and then see what is his response.

I wish there was some litmus test to see if a guy wanted FWB or a relationship early on. I ran into three FWBs in a row and it was terrible, was beginning to think there were no nice men left. So glad my new squeeze seems to be into pursuing a relationship.

All the best. Have fun with it what ever it amounts to!

PS Years ago I told a guy he was like a brother and it drove him nuts he hot so hot over me. Like reverse psychology.... Not suggesting that, you just never know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 8:24pm

In my experience, the litmus test is how he treats you right off the bat. If his interest is sexual then that is what it will be. If it is romantic that is optimal for having a relationship.

SEXUAL: probably this comment of wanting you to dance on the tables is purely sexual. But sexual is calling late at night, inviting you to the house, sex or heavy petting on the first date. All about sex.

ROMANTIC: phone conversations, romantic dates, genuine concern for you as a person, flowers, sweet kiss on the first date, total respect for you as a lady.

I think we just have to work a little harder at doing nothing and observing instead of trying and worrying about impressing a guy in the beginning. I think the answers are right in front of us and we don't know how to see them.