He has cancelled 3 times

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
He has cancelled 3 times
7
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 10:53am
I was introduced to a guy through a group of friends and we have all been out together a couple of times since. He called me after the last get together and asked me if I would enjoy going out with him one on one. I was interested so we made tenative plans for this past weekend. Well on Friday he did not call and so I guess Friday night was out and then he called on Sat. He gave me a whole list of things he had to do that day and told me to call him after I got off work. I called and he did not answer then called back over an hour and a half later. He apologized profusely and said that tonight would not be possible and asked if we could go out one night this week. I gave him the benefit of the doubt because "life happens" to me all of the time. He called on Tuesday and aske me out for Thurs. and then on Thursday I called and left a message for him to call me back and let me know what time he would be picking me up. He called back and said he was headed to the doctor's office to get a shot for a migraine and that he would call me afterwards. He never called. He also said that he really really wanted to go out with me and that he was looking forward to it all week and cant beleive that this is happening. As I type this I see my answer, but tell me what you think anyway?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 11:18am
He sounds totally unreliable and not of his word. Yes, life happens, but that's no excuse not to follow through. Look at it this way if he's giving you problems already, it's only going to get worse in the future. You only get one chance to make a first impression and he blew it ! If a guy dosen't care enough to make a good, solid first impression, he's not worth it. I would say to forget about him and move on.
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 11:50am
As I typed my response I realized that it would only get worse if I settled. Now that this has happened I'm a little confused about how to deal with it when we end up out with the group of people again...I dont want anyone to be uncomfortable and I am not at all mad just a little dissapointed. maybe I should tell him that the goup thing seems to work out better for us tahtn the one on one thing (in a light hearted manner.)?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 11:58am
I would only see him again in a group situation and I would NOT call him again. Believe me I made that mistake. It is tough when we are nice and give people the beneit of the doubt,but hey, enough is enough. I would back off and be nonchalant with him. Don't wait for him or make yourself availabe to him. Make him prove him worthiness to you first. It may be just life happening, and bad timing. Wait is out. Hmm, I think I willtkae my own advice too1 LOL, Have a great day!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 2:41pm
If you run into him again, just be as cool as a cucumber. Just be casual, like a "oh hello" type of thing. If he backs you into a corner and starts with his bs,(which I think he will), give him a dose of his own medicine. Say, "Oh, I'm busy that night, But I'll call you when it's a better time". When he dosen't hear from you, I think he'll get the hint. Some guys have what I call the "salesman" personality, always laying it on thick, always charming, and always full of sh--.
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 2:16pm

Act as if nothing happened. Because, nothing did happen. He just jerked your chain a bit.

Do not make any references to him calling you and cancelling. It's done and over. Don't mention it.

If you see him in the group, say 'hello' and that's it. If he tries talking to you or making apologies, just say, "oh, no need to apologize. I ended up going out with some friends." Then, forget all about him!!!

If he ever asks you out again, I would jerk him around big time. Tell him to call you. Then, don't answer your phone. Don't ever return a message.

p.s. do not go out with this man. ever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 2:31pm

This is an absolutely wonderful and perfect response and advice!!!!!!!!!!

Bravo, fivesense. I could not say it better.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 1:06pm
don't waste your time. if he's not reliable now, he'll never be. and you don't have to put yourself into an emotional tailspin. no man is worth that!