Darling, since we are both scorpions, I think I am going to stay out of giving you advice, but understand it's not that I don't care. I say this, because someone telling me that
He said he didnt say there is no soul but "He has hard time finding the soul of this relationship..".. Ughh now what is so different..Its all the same in my book.. I know a million women who would put this aside and work on what he suggested and have a happily everafter life given how good he is to me with everything else.. But I cant just get past this..
One of the things I being reminded all the time is that people have different meanings for the same words such as "love" and "commitment," "integrity,"
Thanks Mark. It is always great to hear your opinion.. Because it sheds some light onto what he could be "possibily thinking".. Yes he is eager to form that deep connection and I should appreciate that
Mark, what do you think about him thinking that my "I love yous " are soemwhat anattempt to coverup for lack of physical part or is manipulative in any way.. Is that natural to feel that way..
Yes, I did talk to him on phone today and told him exactly how I felt. He was surprised at how I "turned the coin around..".. hmm .. we will see how it goes.
I'm sorry if I've missed something but did he actually tell you what he meant by "some times I have a hard time finding the soul of our relationship " Did he say what the soul of a realtionship means to him? Is he a touchy/feely guy all the time or just sometimes? The way you have described him he doesn't sound like this kind of guy. It definitely sounds as though he caught you off guard with all of this. I think I would have to continue the conversation.
The summer guy I was with for a few months actually told me he wanted me to run up and hug and kiss him when I picked him up after work. Being the kind of person a little shy about public affection, I told him I couldn't do that just yet. I'm also a little distant when it comes to people he was not. We clashed in these manners and I am sure if we were to have continued this would have become an issue. Him wanting this closeness and public affection and me not be able to give that. Maybe in time I could have but just not at that point.
I don't believe in classifying something as "natural" or not for that does not really help in dealing with the person in front of me (or with myself).
Plus I don't want to try to second guess him (or you) when it comes to interpreting you saying "I love you" as a way of avoiding another way of conveying love.
I believe this is a great opportunity and topic for deeper and compassionate discussion on what it means for each of you.
I was thinking as I read your post, about the different ways that we all express love, our love languages. Mark nailed that in his post. This is a wonderful concept to understand and I have to say it has helped me in my relationship 100 percent. There is another thing Mark mentioned and I am very glad he (with the man's perspective) said. It's about how Biker was revealing these things to you, in my opinion not to hurt you or the relationship but instead for clarification and to improve on connection.
Pages
One of the things I being reminded all the time is that people have different meanings for the same words such as "love" and "commitment," "integrity,"
I can see where the "no soul in the relationship" comment would hurt.
April
Thanks Mark. It is always great to hear your opinion.. Because it sheds some light onto what he could be "possibily thinking".. Yes he is eager to form that deep connection and I should appreciate that
I'm sorry if I've missed something but did he actually tell you what he meant by "some times I have a hard time finding the soul of our relationship " Did he say what the soul of a realtionship means to him? Is he a touchy/feely guy all the time or just sometimes? The way you have described him he doesn't sound like this kind of guy. It definitely sounds as though he caught you off guard with all of this. I think I would have to continue the conversation.
The summer guy I was with for a few months actually told me he wanted me to run up and hug and kiss him when I picked him up after work. Being the kind of person a little shy about public affection, I told him I couldn't do that just yet. I'm also a little distant when it comes to people he was not. We clashed in these manners and I am sure if we were to have continued this would have become an issue. Him wanting this closeness and public affection and me not be able to give that. Maybe in time I could have but just not at that point.
I don't believe in classifying something as "natural" or not for that does not really help in dealing with the person in front of me (or with myself).
Plus I don't want to try to second guess him (or you) when it comes to interpreting you saying "I love you" as a way of avoiding another way of conveying love.
I believe this is a great opportunity and topic for deeper and compassionate discussion on what it means for each of you.
Dance-
I was thinking as I read your post, about the different ways that we all express love, our love languages. Mark nailed that in his post. This is a wonderful concept to understand and I have to say it has helped me in my relationship 100 percent. There is another thing Mark mentioned and I am very glad he (with the man's perspective) said. It's about how Biker was revealing these things to you, in my opinion not to hurt you or the relationship but instead for clarification and to improve on connection.
Pages