He said the "L" word....
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He said the "L" word....
| Mon, 06-04-2007 - 7:32pm |
I don't have an emotion for this, because I don't know what to think. It's like now that he said it, I'm terrified. LOL. Scared to death actually. I can feel myself want to overreact, freak out and find someway to push him away. I'm OTA'ing (over thinking, analyzing) everything. I keep thinking he doesn't. He lied. It's not true. He just said it "just because".
Which all drives me crazy, because I really like him, we are really close, I'm extremely happy, but thinking that I might get hurt again by someone is scaring the heck out of me. Ok, so I am glad he doesn't say it every two seconds, he, like the rest of our relationship is just going very casual. And he said it, as if it's the most normal thing in the world. But then, he just said some really incredible things to go with all of that and then, he just kissed me, fell quiet and moved on to another conversation, as if it was all just completely normal and matter of fact. He did say it was scaring the hell out of him, so I think I don't feel alone.
I am realizing and he told me that I have no clue what a real relationship is supposed to be like. We had a little disagreement this weekend and I told him about "my time". WOW! Did that hurt him, because he said, it's no longer "my time", "his time", it's now "our time" and that maybe I'm not at that wave that he thought I was on with him. I keep worrying about getting into his time and being a pest and bothering him, etc. I want to be with him all the time, so I am getting a little freaked out because I want to spend so much time with him. So I worry about smothering him and now he is thinking I have no clue what a real relationship is like, because it's about us ,not just him or me or the kids anymore. It's six of us, not three of us.
Wow! all of this and two months later, he says he loves me and we still haven't had sex. Geesh. Ok, so how do I feel? Happy and scared! I'm terrified of screwing it all up. Making some big mistake and losing him. So now, he says the L word and everything seems so different. I'm terrified of getting scared and walking away. Or just plain hurt again. My girls getting hurt, his girls getting hurt. I want to suddenly screech on the breaks but not sure how and why I want to do that. I'm just so happy to be with him, so I guess I'm confused. I'm glad the girls are leaving soon. I'll feel better when that happens.
Which all drives me crazy, because I really like him, we are really close, I'm extremely happy, but thinking that I might get hurt again by someone is scaring the heck out of me. Ok, so I am glad he doesn't say it every two seconds, he, like the rest of our relationship is just going very casual. And he said it, as if it's the most normal thing in the world. But then, he just said some really incredible things to go with all of that and then, he just kissed me, fell quiet and moved on to another conversation, as if it was all just completely normal and matter of fact. He did say it was scaring the hell out of him, so I think I don't feel alone.
I am realizing and he told me that I have no clue what a real relationship is supposed to be like. We had a little disagreement this weekend and I told him about "my time". WOW! Did that hurt him, because he said, it's no longer "my time", "his time", it's now "our time" and that maybe I'm not at that wave that he thought I was on with him. I keep worrying about getting into his time and being a pest and bothering him, etc. I want to be with him all the time, so I am getting a little freaked out because I want to spend so much time with him. So I worry about smothering him and now he is thinking I have no clue what a real relationship is like, because it's about us ,not just him or me or the kids anymore. It's six of us, not three of us.
Wow! all of this and two months later, he says he loves me and we still haven't had sex. Geesh. Ok, so how do I feel? Happy and scared! I'm terrified of screwing it all up. Making some big mistake and losing him. So now, he says the L word and everything seems so different. I'm terrified of getting scared and walking away. Or just plain hurt again. My girls getting hurt, his girls getting hurt. I want to suddenly screech on the breaks but not sure how and why I want to do that. I'm just so happy to be with him, so I guess I'm confused. I'm glad the girls are leaving soon. I'll feel better when that happens.

Holy tomato, do I ever know what you're feeling!
This is EXACTLY the post I could have written when funnyguy fist said he loved me.
The thing is, if you're enjoying him and his company and being with him and EVERYTHING, stop thinking so darned much, and just let yourself enjoy it.
Life is a whole bunch of endless risks. We risk so much pain to feel joy. But without having experienced any pain, we can never truly know what joy is.
You've felt pain, now it's your time to feel joy. There's no guarantees, none at all, that you won't feel pain again, but we can't live our lives thinking about the pain when the joy is smacking us in the face.
Let go, feel the joy. Ride on this wave or fun and confusion and happiness and worry and fear and bliss.... enjoy it.
Moody, also feeling the joy, with less fear than before
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How exciting! But what do you do now? Just the same thing you've been doing all along! Don't change anything just because the L word is now "out there". Just keep on enjoying your time together and no freaking. I think that freaking too much can actually get in the way of a relationship developing smoothly. Just know now that he is committed to you and wanting to be with you, and just enjoy!
I've had relationships where the L word was tossed out in 2 months too- and it freaked me out as well. I felt like I barely knew the guy and it was too soon to TRULY be able to say that and MEAN it. I felt like he was saying it too soon and there were things about me he didn't know yet, and I knew he couldn't have been saying it KNOWING what he was getting into. I couldn't trust it- so I know what you mean. But at the same time- he SAID it, and if his actions show it, then let it be, and just enjoy the relationship as it is.
Hiker and I are on the opposite end of this. We haven't actually *said* those little words to each other yet, though we have written it. I think I'd be a bit more freaked out that he still hadn't said it- except that I know how he is. He isn't someone who is always spilling over with his emotions and babbling about stuff. But when he does say things, he means what he says. So when he does say it, I will know that he MEANS it, and that he isn't just babbling over. And I know I'm not one to overuse the L word either. I hate it when it gets used so much that it doesn't mean anything anymore. With Hiker, I think I'm so okay with it not being said because ACTIONS show it. Everything Hiker does with me, shows it. I have no doubts about it and I know I feel it. I've come close to saying it to him, but I just haven't yet. I'm about ready to burst with it though. Now that I've known him this long, and have seen how he is with me in nearly every situation life tosses our way... I know that hearing it will be the icing on the cake- not the cake itself. Our relationship as it is- is the cake or the foundation.
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Wow! I think that is pretty fantastic. HE LOVES YOU. He thinks you are so awesome that he feels that he is IN LOVE WITH YOU!
I think it might freak me out too...but I also think that is a tremendous compliment to you. You haven't even had sex yet - let's face it sex can cloud the isue of true love. So I think that is even more of a compliment.
Don't get freaked out....I understand why you are...but don't let a good thing go just because you are afraid to risk getting hurt again. Nothing worth having comes without taking a risk. M sounds like a really great person and your posts about your time together seem very 'peaceful' and happy. Enjoy the ride and feel emotions...let him know that that scares you a little...I think he'll understand.
I am very happy for you!
Rose