He wants to have sex...tonight!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
He wants to have sex...tonight!
12
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 2:00pm

I received a text from Shane. I know texting is not romantic, but after 4 days of no contact since he had a big sale at work all weekend...including today, I'll take it. OK and my phone gets little signal in here at my job and I can't talk much since I am on the phone a lot on my work phone.

Anyway, he and I have spoken about it and he always said he was not opposed to it. He just needed to be ready to take that step. Well....here we are. I want to so bad. I am nervous about it though. Not that I will screw up and cry during since I love him so much, but that after so much time, I will have forgotten how to satisfy him.

I wouldn't if I had not heard my counselor say it was fine for us to be intimate if we could both understand that we were not together again necessarily just because we slept together. Intimate encounters are a good way to connect, and she said it was perfectly normal for us to want that. I am not sure if I will allow him to stay overnight. I might tell him he has to leave, but I feel like I might let him stay. I guess it all depends on how I feel after. But I will not cuddle up to him after. I will go to my own side and act as if it were just a sexual encounter to me and that I was okay with it just being that. I am going to have sex with him, though. We spoke about it not long ago and he just said that he was not quite ready but if I could just wait until he was then we'd get together.

SO big smiles tomorrow at work.

Wish me luck though, as I have been dreaming of this step for a long time.

~MEL~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 1:10pm

On the contrary, I do not feel attacked at all. I feel awsome knowing how much my fellow boardies care about me. I also value how you have defended Shane's part in this that he understands the emotional pitfalls of the encounter more than I probably do. I'm just way too horny right now and want some good sex because you can only use the vibe so much before that is boring. Actually I am not bothered as much by my ex's fling. I know now that it isn't about me, it's not about Shane. It's about my ex and his issues that brought him to cheat on me. Do I believe anymore that Shane will cheat? No. He hasn't and he won't. Does it bother me when he leaves to go to his apartment? Sure, but only because I miss him. I really do. I miss the times we cuddled in bed without doing anything else. I remember finally getting the tv in the bedroom working and turning it on to watch a movie together and falling asleep in his arms mid movie. And even if I hated him, I'd recall those moments with a smile because they were happy times.

You may be right that I cannot handle sex with him without wanting him back immediately. You may be right that I could cry hysterically for days after because it was so wonderful. Who knows? I guess I just don't think I'll ever know if I do not try. I'd like to think I could get through it and enjoy the time together, the touches, and the bonding.

We'll see...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 1:12pm
I know. I guess after some time I will be tougher. I don't put up with crap from XH, so I know it will happen. I do feel stronger now. And I know I will grow stronger still

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