He Was Such A Butthole About It...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
He Was Such A Butthole About It...
2
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 9:27pm

I'm a little upset about this whole thing. I was supposed to see Jarod last night, but I had to cancel. He was going to see his baby anyway and I figured he should spend some time with her w/out me there. I figured it was no big deal, however, he got upset. I didn't hear from him all last night. I left him a message and told him that I'd like to talk to him and to give me a call if he wanted to.

Well...he ends up calling me this afternoon. I didn't really want to have a big discussion over the phone, but it ended up being just that. I told him that I just wanted to take it slow and he got a little angry/upset. We ended up basically yelling at each other. I told him that if he couldn't repect my feelings and couldn't take things at a slow rate then maybe he just wasn't worth the time. I felt bad after I said that, but that's generally how I feel. He continued to say that he's put me first in his life and wants to be involved in my life but I just don't seem to be wanting the same things. So, I explained that I'm just not ready to jump head first into some big all consuming relationship. I don't understand why it has to be all or nothing. I also told him that I basically didn't know anything about him. I know where he works, have never been to where he lives, and it was just a little odd for someone to want to be with me so much and yet not really open up to me. I told him that I'm willing to get to know him and I do enjoy the time we spend together, but why should I just wrap myself all in him when he's basically a stranger to me.

He got really mad after that. I told him I was sorry if I hurt his feelings or offended him, but maybe we were at different places right now. I also told him that I didn't want to get off the phone if he was angry b/c then nothing would be solved. I don't like having arguments if nothing is resolved or anything is clarified. I told him that if he didn't want to date, then I was giving him the easy way out. If he wanted to take it slow, then that was good, if he didn't, then there was really nothing more to say. He said that he needed to go but to call him after I got out of class so we could talk some more. Well...he's avoiding my calls...lol. So, I left him a message and told him that I was sorry for getting heated in our conversation, but (and not to lay ALL of this on him) but basically my reaction(s) was based on his actions and reactions. I am usually a calm person, not that I got irrate or anything, but I just felt like I was being put on the spot. Who knows. He's really not worth it when it boils down to it, but I still feel bad. I also hate the fact that I'm being blown off. Funny, huh? I didn't really want to continue seeing him but now that he's avoiding me I find myself wanting to talk to him...lol.

My mom says that if I was really "into" him then I would be wanting to spend a lot of time with him and see him all the time. And..since I don't then he's really not the person for me. Maybe she's right.

Oh well...got the date with the doc on Saturday. I'm nervous, but I can't wait either! I've had my eye on this guy for a while! LOL!

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 9:33pm

I think it is so huge and so great and so so so good that you finally put your foot down and told Jarod how you feel and what works for you straight out. YEAH!!!!! This is a good place for your head and will take you to good places.

I agree with your mom. I think you should ignore Jarod - he is being a butthead because he doesn't like dealing with the rejection. He sounds way too controlling to me.

Keep us posted for Saturday!! What are you wearing?

signature
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 10:26pm

Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it!

As for Saturday, I'm probably going to keep it casual. I don't know what he's going to wear, but David's a very laid back person. He told me that he would like to go to dinner and a movie, and that I could pick both...lol...which is a first for me! I know it's silly, but I've never actually been asked where I want to eat or which show I would like to see. But, since we're going out of town for dinner and the movie (about 25 miles away from our small home town) I think I'll suggest this great little (and not really expensive) restaurant. It's sort of laid back yet cozy too, which should be good. It's not really loud and we'll be able to talk and get to know each other. I'm just a little nervous about the ride up there and back. I don't think I've ever been this nervous before. A part of me feels like I'm a little out of my league with this guy. But, I'm going to be nice and be myself and hopefully all will go well.

As for the outfit...lol...

I bought a new pair of really cute jeans the other day and a jean jacket that's tailored somewhat. I think it looks cute, so I'll probably wear that with a pinkish shirt underneath and my favorite earrings! I figure that will be appropriate for dinner and a movie. I don't want to look like I tried to hard...lol!

Kait