Heartbreaking comment from dd tonite ...
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Heartbreaking comment from dd tonite ...
| Sat, 01-19-2008 - 6:24pm |
& i was stunned.
She fell off the playground equip today & really got hurt. She's ok now, but as most little girls will do, she cried for her daddy, after i comforted her. I let her call him & she called him crying. He seemed to be able to calm her down a bit. BUT ... then he asked to speak with me - i refused.


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((((((((((((((((R)))))))))))))))) and Ave, too.
I responded to you already at Feb2K but I wanted to add here too- that you guys are always in my prayers. Even Taz- because he really, really needs help. I just pray that something will one day soon make him realize it all. Before time is gone & he loses a chance with Ave- because as she gets older, she will start to understand more and see more and eventually she won't want anything to do with him, out of her OWN choices because she will truly understand. Right now she is still too young to fully grasp it all (though she grasps more than most kids do at her age!) and she is still trying to "get her Daddy back".
It is just all so maddening.
Hugs,
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Rebecca, Huggs to you. I really feel bad for you being put in this situation. I feel bad for Avery and heck I dont know why I even feel very bad for Taz. It could be my codependednt mind playing tricks on me. I used to try so so hard to not hurt my ex..The way
Rebeca, this is definitely something that should go to the psych immediately. And a lesson for you in the future that you stick to the speaker phone no matter the circumstance. He is not capable of support. Perhaps you need to have a few family members you can depend on for times like these?
Perhaps you need to set up the calls to "win" so to speak - get on the phone with him and say this is Rebeca, Avery wants to speak with you - I am monitoring the call for Dr. ... She will chat briefly and then we will all hang up - she has things she is excited to tell you. Get a format or something routine so every knows what to expect. Have Avery write down one or two things to say. Then goodbye. Repeat. The purpose of the call is for her to speak to him and nothing more. I think if you can get him used to that he might do better with the calls. I also think they should be on a scheduled basis.
But this is just a suggestion - see what the doc says. I think you should definitely call him on Monday with this news with the goal of how to handle this with Avery. I don't think any child should have to deal with the thought of her dad wanting to commit suicide without professional help. I also think you should not be mad at him because he is not capable of doing the right thing or knowing any better. Your anger is not going to serve you well in this case.
Good luck!!
West,
(((((Rebecca))))) ((((((Averey))))))
It is heatbreaking for her to worry about this- but in consolation: this IS the age that kids begin to question morality, so it may just be THAT and not so much worry just about her dad- make sense?
Oh wow - that is great you left the doc a message already - okay - am sure you will hear something back soon!!
Sorry for this trauma - it is like he adds drama after drama on top of anything you do. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
Taz will always amaze me.
I think I would mention to her that people hurting themselves like this never something a child can help in any circumstance. Children instead make people want to LIVE and do better normally and in many cases, bring people BACK from the brink - not lead them to it. That's why a child visiting a hospital or a retirement home brings endless joy to the adults there. She is full of light and life and happiness and she has nothing to do with whatever darkness he faces. You have probably told her all of this but that is what I would tell my child if he came to me saying what she did so I thought I would post.
All our best to you. I know you are hurting but soon the psych will respond and I am positive he will have some practical advice to help move her away from that thought....
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
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