Heartbreaking comment from dd tonite ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Heartbreaking comment from dd tonite ...
45
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 6:24pm

& i was stunned.


She fell off the playground equip today & really got hurt. She's ok now, but as most little girls will do, she cried for her daddy, after i comforted her. I let her call him & she called him crying. He seemed to be able to calm her down a bit. BUT ... then he asked to speak with me - i refused.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 4:50am
Yes, thats what breaks my heart the most, that at what is supposed to be an innocent aqe, she put 2 & 2 together to figure out that her dad IS someone at this type of risk. But, i think my explanation worked well, & hopefully hte psyc can ad some good ideas as well.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 10:46am

WOW!!!! That was some pretty heavy conversation for a little girl but this day & age you will be suprised with what they come home knowing regardless of what you expose them to at home.


Personally I think you should suck it up & call her daddy.He needs to know that his child, b/c of whatever he has done or said, or has happened in the past with the two of you has her thinking this way.

Gabriall-Special People; Special Jobs
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 10:58am

Unfortunately, this man would use that kind of information AGAINST her, not see what pain he's causing his daughter.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 11:05am
Totally agree with you Alison. As Soonee so well put it...THIS MAN IS MONDO BEYONDO! He would so milk this child and Rlch for that matter for sympathy it wouldn't even be funny. Heck, it would probably give him the idea to do so.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 11:32am
WOW that is terrible to hear that people can so hateful
Gabriall-Special People; Special Jobs
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 11:40am

I think it sux like everyone else here to hear how TAZ is.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 11:55am

BIG HUGS! I am sure you feel devastated and at a complete loss. I know I feel that way with Alex and her father. My heart goes out to the pain you feel for your DD. It's awful when you have no control of the situations and all you want is your child to be at peace, happiness and two parents that want the best for her. It's so difficult when it's you who is constantly trying your hardest to give her the happiness and balance she needs and

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 11:55am

((((((((((((Rebecca & Avery))))))))))))


I'm so sad to read that comment. I know it must have been heartbreaking to hear her ask that. All I can say is that I will say a prayer for you both..


It's so sad when kids feel the pain we try so hard to protect them from...


I'm sorry..I hope your weekend with her was nurturing, healing and quality mom and Ave

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 7:57am
I am very sorry to hear that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 9:06am

You might have great intentions but what you are asking her to do is to be inhuman IMO.
She is in an ongoing situation legally with her ex that includes custody/visitation/child support issues. It isnt as if she can just never engage in thought or have feelings about her daughter's father. She needs to be present in every way possible when it comes to him because without documentation of his behavior and its effects, she has no chance of protecting DD. Yes, she is invested, very much so. If her ex wasnt seeing or talking to her daughter at all perhaps she could shift the job over to lawyers or pysch more and wash her hands of it until court but that is not the case. He is in and out of their lives by phone and in person when he feels like it because she hasnt completed the process legally of cutting him out. She is right smack in the middle of it. Their relationship was abusive and just because there were issues of codependence in their marriage and divorce (as is almost always the case in abusive relationships) doesnt mean she is refusing to detach now. It has always seemed to me that rlch is very aware of her past issues with Taz and is valiantly trying to keep herself in check to do this in a way that doesnt further their past dysfunction.

"You post several times a week in extreme detail about the latest horrible thing he's done, or the conversation you had with him, his lawyer, his relatives, etc. and you seem to thrive off others agreeing that he is crazy. Maybe your little girl doesn't see you posting, but she sounds extremely perceptive and I bet she hears you talking with friends or even notices how your facial expression and voice changes when you're talking about him or monitoring one of their calls."

That paragraph disturbs me on a number of levels. I support her fully in coming here to vent, post, do whatever she wants to purge some of the rage she must feel SO THAT she can be more detached and "normal" about things in front of her DD. That is what this board is here for. You shouldnt assume that her DD is aware of any of her writings here, or that rlch is calling people or talking in front of her, etc. unless you are currently living in their house or have a relationship with them that we dont know about. These are assumptions you have made which IMO dont help
shed light for anyone.

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