Hello! Its my first post. A question!!
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| Thu, 01-18-2007 - 8:46am |
First of all let me tell all of you that I feel great that I found this board!
its great for all moms deling with life by themselves!
A little about me and my situation: I am 25 y/o, mother of a 4 Y/O girl, well 5 next month!, I was married to my girl's dad for aprox 3 years (it was horrible because his alcohol problem destroyed the family, about a year after my divorce I met a man who lied to me and was always giving me the run around (in everything!) meaning he had someone else!)... but now, I am kind of scared (ovious reasons..right? ;))
Recently I met someone who I beleive it a great guy, he cares about both me and my child, and is very friendly and honest. He is super attached to me, and asks me if I think about him and things like that, the situation is that yesterday I spoke to him and I kind of told him to slow down a little, that I want my feelings for him to develop, but not in a pressured manner, just naturally, that whenever I start feeling that I miss him or things like that I will let him kow and not hide it, its just that its too soon!. He understood.
I don't know, I guess it is because of my past experiences, that Im scared, adding to the fact that he is a little younger than me, is single w no kids, and Im all paranoid because my abdomen is not like it was prior to pregnancy, and over all by boby is not the same and I don't feel good.
Has anyone felt like this? please write!! Thank you! and Its great to be here!
Suleka2007

Welcome to our board.
I think we all feel like you do in many ways.
For me, concentrating on getting myself to where I am happy with me has done a lot. I have a lot to be thankful for and am not really dating right now - but am waiting for the right man who will make me feel special.
There is someone like that out there for all of us.
I hope you will stick around and participate in our posts - you can learn a lot here and we can learn from you as well!!
First of all, welcome! Secondly, do not worry about your post-baby body. We all have those issues, but attractiveness is more about the way YOU see yourself than the way someone else see you. Love the skin you're in, change it for you, if you like, but accept that it's as much a part of who you are as your personality, and learn to be okay with it. If you can master that, men won't notive any perceived flaws, because you'll be too confident and alluring to allow anyone to dwell on it.
Then, about this guy in particular, I don't know if I have any valid advice for you, since I'm really really not into clingy guys. But that's just me, and since I'm still very single, maybe I should lighten up a little. If he's getting that you need to take things slowly and why, i say go for it, but you're young. There's no hurry, so don't feel pressured to feel something that simply isn't there for you yet.
Please stick around, and i'm sure everyone else will have great adivce, too!
Moody
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"attractiveness is more about the way YOU see yourself than the way someone else see you"
AMEN Moody - that is so true and something we all have to work on - to make ourselves more attractive in our OWN eyes. I think this is an inside thing as much as an outside thing. We don't have to have a body like a movie star - just clothes that are clean and pressed and match. But none of this is good without a smile and inner confidence to know we are going somewhere and are happy with our lives and kids. That is all the polish, I think.
You are so wise for your age, Moody!!
"You are so wise for your age, Moody!!"
Thank you very much! However, I'm thinking "what should I wear on Sunday to my date with Double D??" As much as I feel attractive, and as much as I feel happy with myself, these things still enter my mind. The difference is that I don't worry about whether he'll like whatever I decide to wear- I want to feel like I look good for ME. Not for him.
Moody, who really wants new clothes but has no money for such things (and three overfull dressers)
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Where are you and double d going?
"Moody, who really wants new clothes but has no money for such things (and three overfull dressers)"
You know what? I have a friend who dresses to kill. And she doesn't have new clothes or those in-style-hip clothes.
She organizes her closet by color. And she does one heck of a job matching stuff up and accessorizing it just right with matching shoes, handbag, belt, jewelry. All cheap stuff. She does a great job on her hair - it always looks neat. And I always admire how GREAT she looks.
I think the way to look great is to make sure stuff is neat and it matches and that your hair looks good. She has taught me a lot. And she is your age!! Hopefully this inspires all of us to shop in our own closet. I did put my closet in "color order" - and it is so much easier to get dressed this way. And I haven't bought new clothes in a while. I do have some fun cheap jewelry and belts from Target and Walmart, though!! And shoes from Target as well - they have great stuff for $5 and $10!!
We're going to see George Carlin at a local theater. It's a small venue, really, and a very casual town. I was thinking that I knew what I'd wear, but the shoes that go with the outfit are open-toed and it finally snowed here, so that outfit is probably scrapped.
I do a lot of accessorizing- not big or anything, but I truly think the accessories make the outfit. I am not really very trendy, but also not exactly classic, either... my style is just a little funky/sexy, without going overboard. Fairly casual, since even though I work in an office it's a pretty casual one in a very casual city.
I'm sure I'll come up with something- I just like to shop. Probably the reason I have no money to!
Moody, who has a day and a half to shop her own closet
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