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| Tue, 04-01-2008 - 5:04pm |
Hello,
I am moving over here from the domestic violence boards, even though I still post on them often. But the time has come to move on. I ended an abusive relationship 5 weeks ago. I dont want another relationship for a long time but dating is on the horizon.
I have gone out a few times already but they were friend dates with guys I have known for a long time. I am sticking with the safe and known for now.
I have 3 kids (21, 17, and 12) and dont really want them to meet any guy I date until I know for sure that he is the one. I have already screwed up by bringing 2 different men into thier lives. One was decent and their friend but he and I split up and he left town. The other was the recent bad relationship. I dont want to involve another man into thier lives for a while.
The man I spent Sat with mentioned possibly meeting my kids soon. I didnt really explain my feelings to him. I know my kids will like him because he is so down to earth and a major animal lover like us. But I still dont want to take the next step anytime soon. What do you think?
I am looking forward to having some fun dates but not a committed relationship.
Laurie

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Hi Laurie, and welcome to the board!
Let me start by congratulating you on getting out of the bad relationship.
As a man, there are two reasons why I would want to meet my dating partner's kids:
1. Because I want a long term, committed relationship with her and therefore if I'm included in her family (kids and other close relatives) then I can be ingratiated with her
2. Because this way I can spend more time with her and not wait for her without-the-kids time (usually every other weekend)
If I was a single mother, I would be very cautious in allowing a stranger be involved with my children early on the dating process if they are young children and/or just fresh out of a divorce.
Mark
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb
Welcome, Laurie!
A applaud you as well for ending the abusive relationship.
Good on you for leaving a violent relationship.
CL of
~ Aussie & Kiwi Mums ~
Email me!
Tracy
Good for you for dumping a bad situation. As Niecy (sp?) on Clean House says "That's just all nonsense and foolishness." I think a violent relationship would qualify as junk and clutter in one's life.
Welcome aboard!
I too have issues with domestic violence. My divorce has been going on for a year and a half. I have two kids ages 16 and 11.
I agree that you shouldn't introduce anyone to your kids. It is so hard for them to have people come in and out of their lives. I didn't date for 7 months after I separated. Not by choice..my husband stalked me and no one felt comfortable being around me..not even my old girlfriends!!!
I think it is nice to date people you already know. It can be tricky though.
Make sure you are on the same page with each other, and be completely honest about your expectations.
Good luck!!!!
Thanks for the warm welcomes!
Hi Newlife,
The abuse and domestic violence boards on relationship problems are very supportive. They keep me sane sometimes. Will your divorce end soon? Was it hard to leave that situation? A lot of women find it difficult to leave. I hope your friends are back to hanging out with you. Friends make all this possible.
Laurie
When he can't get me to talk to him, he starts calling my friends. Which is why I lost quite a few of them.
I am hoping this will all be over soon.
It was hard to make the decision to finally leave. I stayed ( of course) so my children wouldn't suffer. I know I made the right choice.
Thanks for the kind words!
Hi Laurie, welcome to the board.
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