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| Tue, 04-01-2008 - 5:04pm |
Hello,
I am moving over here from the domestic violence boards, even though I still post on them often. But the time has come to move on. I ended an abusive relationship 5 weeks ago. I dont want another relationship for a long time but dating is on the horizon.
I have gone out a few times already but they were friend dates with guys I have known for a long time. I am sticking with the safe and known for now.
I have 3 kids (21, 17, and 12) and dont really want them to meet any guy I date until I know for sure that he is the one. I have already screwed up by bringing 2 different men into thier lives. One was decent and their friend but he and I split up and he left town. The other was the recent bad relationship. I dont want to involve another man into thier lives for a while.
The man I spent Sat with mentioned possibly meeting my kids soon. I didnt really explain my feelings to him. I know my kids will like him because he is so down to earth and a major animal lover like us. But I still dont want to take the next step anytime soon. What do you think?
I am looking forward to having some fun dates but not a committed relationship.
Laurie

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Do you report him when he violates the restraining order? Was he arrested for stealing your car? If you keep reporting him for breaking the restraining order then his attorney might impress on him how important it is for him to behave.
Laurie
Thanks Alison. I have never been really good at making my needs known. I usually just agree with people and serve everyone else's needs. But I am working on it and I know he is the type to be open to my needs and supportive. What a sweetheart he is.
Laurie
Well, you should be proud of yourself for finding your voice and being strong!
For now I wouldn't involve dates with them.
Personally red flags go off when a date wants to meet mine and it's still early on.
Kids get attached and get hurt easily if things don't work out.
It is up to you but I know you have had a bad experience and been through a rough time.
Take it slow hon...be safe.
Have fun but get to know him first and spend some time ALONE before introducing him.
Check with your kids and see how they feel.
Our kids worry about us to.
Hi nightangel.
I learn the hard way. hahaha. I can sort of joke about it now.
Hi Laurie,
Just thought I would say hello and thanks for posting back to me.
Things are a little bit better.
I am so glad to hear you are doing better.
Like I said in my previous post just be careful.
It is cool he wants to meet them but I would do it when you and your kids are ready.
Glad you are out there...so you are still talking to your ex?...me to.
Right now dealing with some health issues.
It was wonderful to hear from you and you have helped me ever so much.
Mine are older to so the dynamics are a little different than dealing with younger children but it isn't easy.
Sometimes it is hard knowing if it is better with someone who has kids of their own so they can relate or if it is better if they don't.
Either way there are pros and cons.
Hopefully things will get better for the both of us...you sound like you are well on your way.
Wahoo!
Hope your week and week-end coming up are absolutely wonderful.
Lorie
aka ~nightangel~
He actually wire tapped my phone and kept journals of all my private phone conversations for months...
Where he found the time, I don't know. I feel sorry for him sometimes....but he is trying to destroy our lives because he can't have his way. He had problems before I left him, but that is nothing compared to the way he is now.
He has made us all so miserable, I sometimes wish I had never left him.
I know ultimately I did the right thing.
Newlife,
You sound so miserable with this guy and he is kind of creepy (taping your phone). I guess you have to ask yourself if this is the life you want for yourself. Do you have sons? If so do you want them identifying with this type of behavior?
The domestic violence boards are great. So many supportive women there. I have found many answers on those boards.
Laurie
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