Hello from Ribbitty

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2008
Hello from Ribbitty
18
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 1:41pm

Hello all!


I started a thread on the Ex's board the other day, and got some great feedback, but I thought I'd formally introduce myself.


I'm a single mom. I've been on my own for over 5 years, divorced for 2. I have two amazing (I know, I know- they're all amazing, aren't they?) kids. Daughter, or Kook as I call her is 16, going on either 30, or 10, depending on the day, and sometimes the hour. Son, or Goof, is 11. I work in a hospital lab and I really like my job. Geez, almost sounds like a dating profile. And yes, I like walks on the beach, camping and dry red wines...


I haven't been dating alot recently. I went through periods where I was a dating machine, but man, that was exhausting! And to be honest, I'm not anywhere near ready for a long-term committed relationship. Seems like any time one of the gents I was seeing pushed for more, I got the heebie-jeebies and ran. You'd think I'd be ready after 5 years, but the heart is one of those weird organs that never does what you expect it to.


I'm currently seeing someone I met on-line. We've been seeing each other for over a year, but before anyone gets excited, I have to tell you that he lives 2 hours away, and he travels alot for his job. And I'm only available on the weekends my kids are with their dad (every other). We see each other 1-2 times a month,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 1:48pm

Hi Ribbity!

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 2:21pm

WELCOME TO THE BOARD RIBBITY!
Teenagers! Aren't they the darndest?
I have been single for almost 8 years now and believe me, I know what your talking about. I have been on this board over 5 and boy can I tell you WHAT A DATING SPREE I've had. Pressured to find Mr. Right that always turned out Mr. Wrong for me. Regardless, I have finally come to peace in the last year and now "possibly" dating a Mr. Right for ME.
Their is definitely no right or wrong time to date. It's in your heart and if your heart isn't ready, your mind won't be either. I am hoping that this time, my heart and mind have found each other, but only time and small steps will help me to come to that conclusion.
As for Mr. Long Distance, my advice is, if it works for you, then why pressure to change it. You have to be ok and comfortable with the situation. At some point, when you aren't, you'll know and you'll begin to voice your opinion to MR. LD that it just isn't the right thing for you. Which will leave your parking space open again. Right now, you seem to feel just right with him temporarily parked. It may turn out that you may want more from Mr. LD or you'll find he isn't the one for you. Either way, we welcome all insights from you as we all just coast along the single parenthood dating dilemma.

Looking forward to many more updates and learning more about you.

BTW, if I wasn't taken, I'd ask you out! I love the beach, camping and wine!

- cat

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 2:51pm

Glad to have you here, Ribbitty!


Thanks for taking the time to "formally" introduce yourself. We are bunch of ladies (and some gents) with a wealth of info and experiences and stories to share with you, just like your own that we look forward to hearing from you. I hope you will feel welcome here. I've never "met" a finer bunch of friends.


I admire you for listening to your heart and knowing that you just have not been "ready". Everyone needs their time to get things right inside, and time to be oneself again before being ready for committed realtionships again.


Welcome, again :o)

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 3:19pm

Moon, thanks for the welcome.


I've actually been called a wimp by one or two of those "gents" who wanted more and couldn't understand why I didn't. One guy even gave me a whole lecture based on the movie "Top Gun", and how the Tom Cruise character had to let go of the past, yada, yada. Now, last time I checked, life is not a movie, and I'm not Tom Cruise. And really, that was supposed to make me change my mind and fall madly in love with him? Cause nothing says romance like a lecture about pilots and what I SHOULD do.


As to OLD guy- I call him Georgia Boy and he has the nicest voice, and that yummy drawl, mmmmm- we've actually talked about what happens when/if either one of us meets someone or wants something more, and have decided to address that honestly and openly when that happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 3:28pm

Oh my word, Cat, you made me laugh out loud! Thanks, but I wouldn't dream of getting between you and your new possibility! You sound like you are just having so much fun...


As I replied to Moon, we've talked about what we'll do if/when either of us wants something more, either with someone else, or with each other. Believe me, I gone over this so many times in my mind I sometimes get to feeling like a master on one of those wheels, moving like crazy and getting nowwhere. But I always come back to the fact that when I contemplate making a committment, I back away so fast, I get dizzy. I'm getting dizzy now just typing it.


So, Mr. LD (Georgia Boy) is Mr. Right Now, which is OK with both of us.


Oh, and if you have any advice on teenage girls, feel free to share. It's like living with a different person every day. I never know who she's going to be- the little girl who wants to be taken care of, or the young adult who wants to do everything on her own.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 3:33pm

Oh, and if you have any advice on teenage girls, feel free to share. It's like living with a different person every day. I never know who she's going to be- the little girl who wants to be taken care of, or the young adult who wants to do everything on her own.

LORDY LORDY! I know what you mean. I live with a child that has a bad case of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde!

Yesterday she barked at me one second (rolling eyes and foaming at mouth)and the next second running to me and saying "mommy I need hugs"...It was so out of whack I had to make fun of her and she laughed so hard, she pee'd in her pants.
Talk about loving memories! ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 3:36pm

Pac-Sun, thanks for the welcome.


I've been lurking for a while, and learning from everyone's wisdom and experience, and I do admire the non-judgemental and friendly tone that is so apparent here. And it's so comforting to connect with other parents who are going throught the same things, and can relate!


And I admit, I did try to jump into a committed relationship after my Ex left. It was a classic rebound thing, and it ended- well, not quite disasterously, but rather unpleasantly. Ever been called a Jezebel by someone you went out with? Let me tell you, it doesn't bode well for the relationship when that happens. So, I learned from it, and I'm determined not to go through that again.


Wish there was an easier way to learn these kinds of things, though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 5:04pm

Welcome to the Board!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 8:54pm
Hello and a BIG welcome chickie!!!!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 10:44pm

OMG, I know what you mean. My DD13, loves me, hates me, tells me I look "stupid" doing whatever I am doing, wants me home to hang around with her, wants me to watch TV with her, wants me to go away, wants me to drive her places then complains about the music on the radio and why aren't I driving faster/slower...

My son, 16, is so easy it's frightening. However, for all I know, he could be dealing crack behind the local high school, but he doesn't say I look fat in my new clothes or my new lipstick makes me look hideous, so I could care less:)

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