HELP! first date-nervous

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
HELP! first date-nervous
28
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 9:50am
i have a first date tonight with a VERY nice new guy. i met him thru some mutual frineds and have seen him 2 times now. tonight will be our first time out alone and i'm so nervous i don't know how i will eat dinner.
can some one give me some pointers about what to talk about or not talk about. and if it's ok to wear jeans, a sweater and boots to dinner? i feel like i'm 15 again. i think i'm too nervous to be excited. and i can't stop smiling.
i'm such a dork
heehee
thanks
sara
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 4:15pm

The dates are never the hardest, it's keeping them down the line. LOL. When I rear my ugly head, like donna and scare the Bgeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzz out of them. Kind of excorcist style! LOL. Thank God I can laugh about it all again! I really am a trouble maker! I can't begin to tell you, how often men have told me " You start out as my ultimate dream, then after 4-6 weeks you turn into my ultimate nightmare."

Bingo! that's because it's the 4-6 weeks phaze that scares the heck out of me, that it could actually become a relationship. That's the part I gotta work on. The relationship, getting the man is the piece of cake, keeping him in my revier is a different matter.MEOW!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 4:30pm

I know this isn't supposed to be funny, Catherine, but you do have a way with words and you do sound like such a little devil.

Okay - how about we help you step by step on the next one? Just hang in there - you will find one that loves the devil in you!!

I am still laughing at your other post about shaving.....

I do have fun getting all dressed up and really love the anxiety before a date - I usually go through my closet like a freight train - changing outfits 20 times. I even have glitter powder that tastes like cake - thanks to Urban Decay - oh my!! But we do have to be devilish and have fun with all of this.

I can imagine that the original poster must be having fun reading this thread. You can see there are all different kinds of us - from Candi with smarts and comfort to Catherine with the devil on her heels.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 4:39pm

I'm just laughing that your butt is your biggest asset. I think you meant it was one of your best assets?

I'm also laughing because I have never gone to all that work for any reason, I don't even think I own 20 things that I would chose from for a date, or anything to cream myself with. It all sounds lovely though, like going to a spa or something.

I was thinking of my first date with my bf. I was so sure we would not click, I almost cancelled. I wore the same thing I had worn all day, jeans and a cotton top with tennis shoes, and didn't even check my hair on the way out. When I met him he just blew me away - both with his looks and with his intelligence. I was so glad he wore jeans too, but I noticed his shirt was tucked in so I am sure he spent more time getting ready than I did.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 4:50pm
ok i was laughing all day. thanks guys for the ideas about how to keep myself from wigging out. WE're just going to dinner so i'm trying to remain calm but for some reason i feel so nervous and nauseous. i've NEVER felt this way before a first date. i am 30 but i feel like i'm 15.
I'm going home to spend a couple hours in the shower and changing my clothes about 10 times. LOL
I'll update you tomorrow about how it went. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.
sara
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 5:10pm

That cracked me up! I know for a fact that I have never in my life put that much effort into getting ready!!!!!! In fact, the VAST majority of "first dates" that I've had were immediately after work - or during work (I was REALLY into the lunch date!) where if they got a fresh coat of lipstick - they were lucky!

My first date with TT was after work. I got off at 4 at that point in time - and I was working on a construction defect law suit and had spent that entire day at work with two expert witnesses, crawling around disgusting places (think under the hotel where fresh water lines and sewage lines weren't properly constructed) with hard hats and work boots and haz. mat. suits and face masks and rubber gloves on taking pictures. I raced home, showered, shaved my arm pits, towel dried my hair, mouisturized my body with aveeno fragrance free, put biosilk in my hair and combed it, slapped on deodorant (unscented only), put on a coat of mascara and cherry chapstick, my favorite pair of Calvin Klein jeans, my favorite black racer back bra with a heather gray racer back ribbed knit tank top, slid on my black slides, shoved my i.d., debit card, cash, cell, and chapstick in my pocket and raced out the door. And I beat him there - 5:58 for our 6:00 date. HA!

He walked in and hugged me and kissed my cheek and said "you look stunning." We talked about his job, my job, the fact that we are both midwestern - the difference between midwestern values and west coast values, how I like chivalrous men, my son, his kids. When I heard he had a 14 year old son I said "HOW old are you?" and then we talked about age and our 11 year age difference. We were having so much fun and laughing so hard - having a great time. Then his friends showed up (it was supposed to be a group date but no one showed up but us - until his buddies - 4 hours later) and they joined us. And we all talked and laughed and I got up to go to the bathroom and heard them comment to him "dang, she's hot!" They left. He walked me to my truck at 2 a.m. Hugged me. 15 minutes later my cell phone rang . . . it was him. "Did you make it home safe? I'd like to see you again. I have to work all weekend, but I can have dinner Monday night if you are willing to come to my hotel." SCORE!

Monday was Memorial Day - and he considers our date Monday night our "first date". I spent the day recovering from a severe hang over and sunburn from a Memorial Day party the day/night at a friend's house, by the pool in my apartment complex. I woke up at 5:00 totally sunburned pool side. Raced into my apartment, showered, shaved, moisturized my lobster red skin, threw on a khaki skirt, a black "wrap" top - where the lapels cross over each other and you tie the strings at the waist. Black slides. Biosilked and combed my hair. Black mascara and cherry chapstick. Black slides. RAN out the door. Drove like a bat out of hades to make it to the hotel lobby at 6 . . . walked in there cool as a cucumber. He walked up to me and hugged me and kissed my cheek and we walked to the restaurant. He said "you got ALOT of sun over the long weekend! Have I ever told you I absolutely love your hair and eyes?" and we ate dinner. I don't remember much of what we talked about that night, at all. I do remember he walked me to valet and gave me a huge hug and said goodnight. I called my best friend Lori and said - in the most pathetic, whiney voice you've ever heard - "HE DOESN'T LIKE ME! Not even an ATTEMPT for a kiss. Picking up NO "I like you" vibes! I freaking like him! I bet you a round of drinks I don't hear from him again!!!!!" While Lori was telling me not to worry, that so and so from the party her and I went to on Sunday was interested, and wasn't he great, and it wasn't like I didn't have three guys sitting on the stove at that moment in time - a call came through. It was TT. Who asked "did you make it home all right? I had a fantastic time with you at dinner tonight. I'd love to see you again. As I told you at dinner, I'm swamped this week at work, but I could do lunch on Thursday!" I accepted lunch on Thursday, clicked back to Lori, and giggled like a school girl! LOL

Avatar for tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 5:29pm

OMG! You have me laughing out loud here. "Don't order salad, spagetti or a burger, or anything that requires you to open your mouth really wide or might leave things dangling from your mouth."
What a visual!

T

 

Avatar for tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 5:30pm
Amen!

 

Avatar for tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 5:33pm

You probably won't see this tonight before your date but I just wanted to send some good luck vibes your way. I hope you have a great time and are able to relax and be yourself.

hugs
Tara

 

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 02-02-2005 - 1:40am
No, I it's my biggest! Otherwise, I'm petite. LOL
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 02-02-2005 - 1:46am
To be honest, it was meant to be funny, because it is funny in a sad way! I really do have the devil in my heels! My point is, which is a great example of getting my second date:
I'm so great at the whole date thing ,that I've had over half a dozen marriage proposals in the last 2yrs within 4 weeks. Then, I flip! And the beautiful, angelic, sweet, wonderful understanding woman, turns: BEAST! LOL poor guys, they never know what hit them.