Help! Inhibitions

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Help! Inhibitions
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 7:49am

After many years of non-dating, I have just met this most amazing guy... met him 3 weeks ago... we exchanged cards and have been speaking with each other daily through email letters, phone and texts. During the last three weeks, we've really hit it off. We live approx. 3 hours away from each other.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 10:47am
Well you don't say how old you are but as we get older, things do tend to be less than perfect. When I got divorced, I was over 40 and figured no one would want to be w/ me, but that was not true. When I met my 2nd DH (who definitely was not a perfect physical specimen) I was not in great shape, but he liked me just the way I was. I think it's natural to get nervous about anyone new seeing your body, but I think it could be overcome by not sleeping w/ someone you don't really know & are not sure about their feelings for you. I am probably a little old fashioned about this compared to some people but if someone really likes you, they aren't going to run away cause you don't have a perfect body (& really who does). Good luck w/ the date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 12:10pm

Most of us women have been right where you are in your head about your body & weight .... try to NOT focus on that. AND ... invest in SPANX!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2000
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 2:23pm

Being a big girl as I am, I use to feel bad about my body in that way. However, as mentioned before most guys really don't care if they are getting sex. There mind is focused on one thing. Actually, I have never known a guy to turn away at the point of seeing a womans body.

Just relax and go with the flow. Once you meet you will


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2009
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 6:27am

I agree with R on this one.

Faith is not blind; it's visionary


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2010
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 12:53pm

ITA w/ PP.We all feel that way at some point. Sheesh, I may still be a size 4 but it ain't in the same places and I've got really awful stretch marks after 3 kids. Have not met a man after my divorce who has had a problem with my not perky 34D girls (like beingme, could turn a corner LOL) or my apres kids tummy. In fact my BF adores my non enhanced boobs, prefers natural (even with signs of aging) to surgically enhanced.

I find it is all a matter of confidence. If you feel confident about yourself, the guy will not find fault with your looks. Once the clothes are off a guy is on auto pilot for one thing. So if getting some exercise will boost your confidence by all means have at it.

Any guy who would make negative remarks about your appearance is a guy to boot to the curb.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 4:24pm

You get over your inhibitions by taking your time getting to know them so you can relax!