help knowing if he's interested

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
help knowing if he's interested
2
Fri, 04-29-2005 - 9:12pm
Hi everyone, I have had a crush on this guy whose gardening business I go to, during the gardening season. I have been going there for years and last year realized I have a crush on him. I really get the feeling that he likes me, but nothing like making plans to do something has ever come about. He is also really nice to my 7 year old daughter. He goes out of his way, I think, to be nice to the both of us. I think there is something stopping him from being more forward, but can't figure out what it is. Other people have told me to ask him out, but I just can't do it. He works a crazy amount of hours and last year I did invite him to an open house that we had, but it was during a time he was working and he said he couldn't. I am simply afraid to ask him to do anything again. I just dont know, but I am crazy about him, I really am! Any ideas of how to solve this mystery? thanks. pen
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Sat, 04-30-2005 - 2:21pm

Sounds to me like he's a flirtatous guy and you're reading too much into it. You've been going there for 3 YEARS and he never asked you out? He's not going to. If he had really been interested, he would have asked you out by NOW!

No guy is going to wait 3 years to ask out a woman, no matter how slow he likes things to go. He probably has a girlfriend and is just rather flirty with the female customers in general. Plus, there gets to be a time when someone feels *safe* to flirt with, because you've been flirting with them for a certain amount of time and they haven't tried to ask you out, so you start to feel ok just flirting and getting that sense of being attractive to the opposite sex without having to invest in a relationship with that person. Kinda like instant ego boost gratification- does that make sense?

I think you should refocus your energy on something else and be open to the guy who will be falling over himself to ask you out.

Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sun, 05-01-2005 - 1:01am

Okay, I agree with the previous post....no guy is going to wait 3 years to ask you out if he's really into you. I've been reading the book "He's just not that into you," and it basically says the same thing.

I'm not trying to sound rude or anything....I promise, but if he was really into it, he would've asked you out on a date years ago. He's easy to flirt with, maybe fun to flirt with too, but maybe that's all it will ever be. I think you should focus your attention out there for someone who IS willing to go the extra mile and ask you out! You deserve it too....so don't waste anymore of your time on this guy....he's just having some type of fun w/ flirting, and that's probably all it's ever going to be.

Good luck on finding the guy (who is most definitly out there) who is willing to get to know you!

Kait :)