It ain't easy. I have way too much going on, working a ton, going to school, mom 24/7 (no relief from ex EVER). Yet I still want a guy around. Probably just to have someone who is there for ME. In spite of loathing my ex, I did like being married. I never felt like I was missing out on something being married.
Dating is huge work. There are so many people out there who you think you might click with but nothing happens. Or you click and then it just kind of dies. So many factors make it harder to do as a grown up then it was when we all were first single.
But I think what others are saying is true, it happens when it happens. You can't force it or you wind up in bad situations.
Thanks so much for this thread. I can Soooo relate. My divorce will be final in about 3 weeks and while I feel ready to date I don't want to repeat the "train wrecks" I have been involved with in the past,just for the sake of being with SOMEONE- ANYONE.I'm really trying to focus on finding happiness and fulfillment in myself through the things I like to do and the friends and family I love and who love me. I'm working on ME! I know I'm definitely better off and a lot stronger, more content, the grass definitely is greener and now I know how to mow it -lol! With that said I still find myself tempted and attracted to emotionally unavailable men. I have a tendency to want to "fix" or help them. This makes me feel more secure and wanted. I'm working to get past that.This time I want to meet someone emotionally secure, who I love to be with, and is all there in a relationship with me, fully invested, who loves me as much as I love them. I don't deserve anything less.
Welcome to the board! Glad that you delurked to say hello. We are a great support group. You'll feel welcome here in no time! :) I agree it was a good thread. It helped me remember or reflect on where I don't want to be. This of course is easier said then done, but so far, I'm very proud on how I've handled things this year.
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That reminds me of something my former therapist said, that I've tried to remind myself to do.
Your life is like a cake- and you make that cake by filling your life with good ingredients, your family, friends, hobbies, job, etc.
RF (the guy I dated over 6 weeks ago) was: BITE ME SIZED.
Edited to add: I stand correct, he didn't even have a bite size. (remember that THREAD!?)
Edited 11/20/2008 4:06 pm ET by myprecioustwo
Hey no need to apologize on how you see yourself, life, etc.
It ain't easy. I have way too much going on, working a ton, going to school, mom 24/7 (no relief from ex EVER). Yet I still want a guy around. Probably just to have someone who is there for ME. In spite of loathing my ex, I did like being married. I never felt like I was missing out on something being married.
Dating is huge work. There are so many people out there who you think you might click with but nothing happens. Or you click and then it just kind of dies. So many factors make it harder to do as a grown up then it was when we all were first single.
But I think what others are saying is true, it happens when it happens. You can't force it or you wind up in bad situations.
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