Help.. need advice
Find a Conversation
Help.. need advice
| Wed, 07-05-2006 - 12:43pm |
Hi, I been seeing my guy for the last 6 months and it has been wonderful. We get along famously.. I only wish my my 2.5 year old ds felt the same way. Don't get me wrong, they play together and get along 95% of the time. The thing that is very frustrating is that my ds won't listen to my guy - won't do as he asks and sometimes even ignores him when he is speaking with him. Another thing is that when I get out of my ds sight, all he does is cry for me (he does this with others as well) My guy is getting understandably frustrated with this thinking that my ds doesn't care for him or 'take' to him. How do I get this to stop? I realize that it's only been 6 months and I have seen some improvement but sometimes, it's unbearable. I really want this to work for both of my guys and for all of us to be happy. Can a 2.5 year old really be jealous? Ever deal with anything similar? How did you get through it?

Hi and welcome,
Your DS is still very much in the throes of toddler hood. My DS did that with his own grandparents until he was well after the age of 4 or 5. Separation anxiety is natural and healthy - just another "stage." Also, a toddler that age is not really able to listen and remember and follow directions. What is your SO trying to tell him to do?
I think the best thing is for you and your guy to read about ages and stages of kids in good parenting books (also google search on Dr. Sears for good articles and tips on toddlers) so your guy can see that this is something they outgrow and he can also learn to deal with a toddler effectively. Also, I think if you watch the "time and place" you will see that a toddler is always at his or her worst around naptime and bed time. Maybe you can work around that better?
Another thing is to keep the toddler busy outside - when they have enough physical activity they sleep better, eat better, behave better.
And TV is not always a bad thing so you and your guy can get a little quiet time - I would be inclined to get a couple sesame street or other educational fun videos.
Your DS just needs you now. If you are having a relationship that person has to realize that your DS was there first and has no one else to depend on but you. You will have to balance it and put DS first. And if your SO cannot respect this then you have big trouble.
I am sure the others will chime in here and have more advice as well.
Good luck - welcome to our board - hope you stick around and join in our discussions.
Hi and welcome to the board.
I agree with everything Judy has posted, but I just wanted to add that your bf is not your ds' father or authority figure- that is YOU, so I don't doubt that he's not listening to your bf.
SC phx az