help with sons birthday

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
help with sons birthday
6
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 10:22am
my son will turn 4 end of june and this year i want to have a kids party for him. he goes to a preschool where he has a lot of friends. how should i go about inviting some. i don't know any of the parents. i've only met one once cause everyone picks up their kids at different times. should i just put invitiations in the kids mailbox or should i try to meet up with the parents and ask them personally. plus i only want to ask a few of them not all there are like 20 something kids around his age there any ideas would be great. would the parents come to the party too. or just drop them off. i'm not sure what i would do. i was also thinking about having it at a chucky chease or something but its over an hour away. is that to much for four year olds. like i said i need help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 10:48am

I get invitations in dd's box at school. The one's that they want the children to be dropped off say so in the invitation. I prefer to have parents stay at dd's party, for one because it's hard to keep track of a lot of children and for two I'd like to get to know the parents. If it's over an hour away, you might not get many children coming, that's a lot of driving.

I'm at a loss for what to do for dd's birthday. Last year she felt turning 4 was a big deal, and her party was a big deal to her. She was planning it 6 months beforehand. I searched online and found a music place that did kids parties and they were awesome. But after paying the $250 fee for the place and the hosts (including the musician and an art/craft activity), bought all the food and the cake, plus dd's gifts, it was really expensive. A friend of mine's son is 2 days younger and they are having a scavenger hunt party at a park, but it would be 45 minutes for some of the girls dd goes to school with so I don't know if they would come to that. I feel kind of blech about planning it this year.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 11:35am

What does your son like to do? Does he have favorite interests? I would probably opt to talk to him and find out who his 4 or 5 best pals are at school and just invite them - not the whole class.

I would specify that you want the parents to stay - I have always preferred that because a lot of parents will try to take advantage of you as a babysitter - and they show up late for pick up plus those kids always seem the most wild and hard to watch.

I usually come up with a creative invitation in Word that spells all of this out - something fun like Jane and her mom are invited to... (and since I want the mom to come I also open the invitation to siblings - everyone loves this and I have always had a good turnout).

I have found that the most fun is in a park - kids of that age will play and play on the jungle gyms. I have even thrown in a bounce house - usually $100 for the rental for the day.

I order a big hoagie and I make the cake. I get bottles of juice and water and cups. Not too expensive.

Some parks will allow you to reserve in advance - others you just show up.

I used to go really bananas with DS's birthday - have done pony parties, train park parties, etc. Now I give him the money - this year I let him get xbox - he is now 9. But that is so much easier - when we invite kids they give presents he doesn't like and he has to write a bunch of thank yous and it just isn't that much fun for us given the time and expense - he would rather spend the money on himself. (Since we are now near family we make a special family gathering and party for his birthday and that is great fun!!)

I have found it is definitely best to do it somewhere else NOT at our house and keep it small with a few nice kids. I also never open presents at the party - I feel that causes too many problems and hurt feelings and is rather gauche - but that is just me. I always want the kids and parents to have a lot of fun. And it is a social for me, too.

HOpe this helps - let us know what you decide - maybe it will be a new and great idea for all!!




Edited 5/18/2005 11:59 am ET ET by cl-west1745
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2005
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 1:39pm

One thing to keep in mind, a lot of schools won't let you pass out invitations unless you are inviting the whole class because that causes hurt feelings from those who are left out. You may want to ask the teacher for a class list with addresses or phone numbers and mail invitations to only those kids your son wants to invite.

I've always found outside parties to be the best fun, the kids can run and yell and burn up all that energy. I have also rented a bounce house and had it in my backyard, and set up an obstacle course and scavenger hunt and that was a lot of fun too. I have cake and ice cream, chips and kool-aid and water, and it's a lot of fun for the kids and grown-ups and keeps the expense to a minimal.

My friend does a whole outside thing every year which is awesome, just sets up different stations where the kids go and they get prizes when they complete the game, like a ring toss, bean bag toss, relay race. She gives the kids their goodie bags empty and they fill them as they go. The kids always have lots of fun but it does require several grown-ups to help at the different game stations.

Hope these ideas help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 2:48pm

The year my daughter turned 5, I asked her to give me a list of her 5 favorite friends from her Kindergarten class. Then I produced a flyer for the parents of those kids asking them if they would provide me their address and phone number so I could mail their daughter/son an invitation to dd's birthday party (which falls in the summer). I asked her teacher to please give these to the students to take home. I got all 5 back within 2 days with the info filled out.

I sent invitations to all 5 kids inviting them to have lunch with us at a restaurant in the mall and that we would then go to "Build-a-Bear" after lunch. Each child got to create their own stuffed animal. The store rep asks you in advance how much you are willing to let each kid spend and she directs them on what they can get for that amount.

I did have my aunt there as a helper, so the mom's were just instructed to drop off and pick up...they were happy they ended up having 2 hours to themselves to shop at the mall...and actually 2 of them ended up meeting us at Build-a-Bear because they wanted to be in on the fun. :)

If you have one of those in your neighborhood mall, I recommend it! The kids had a blast! And I didn't have to spend any money on decorations, games, party gifts, plates, etc. The restaurant took care of the cake & icecream for a nominal charge. For all 6 kids to get a bear, an outfit for the bear, plus lunch at Ruby's diner (which gave me a 25% discount as part of the Build-a-Bear party) it costs me about $160.00.

good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 2:56pm
That is a great idea!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2005
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 5:24pm

My son will be five this year so I know where you're coming from. I asked him who he wanted at his party... oh and he knew exactly who he wanted..LOL.. then I just put invitations in those kids cubbies. All the parents do it that way sometimes we get an invite sometimes we don't. My son doesn't even notice, because I collect everything when I pick him up.

One of my friend evites the parents of the kids she wants to come, and then gives all the details that way.

When Triston turned 3 I threw his party at chuck e cheese...kids had a blast no clean up and it only cost 120 with favors and cake! He wants to go back this year but 5's a pretty big day I'll probably go all out get on of those bouncy houses or a clown or something, but with an August birthday it's tough. I never thought of asking the parents for their addresses though thats a good idea :)

Good Luck with the party :)
Stef