help - why do my emotions fluctuate

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
help - why do my emotions fluctuate
14
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 11:54am

oh boy... not sure that anyone can explain but maybe relate... why do my emotions fluctuate? One minute i'm happy and secure... and the next i feel insecure and jealous... what is that all about?


maybe it's getting close to that time of the month? But last night i felt secure.. i felt he likes me and things are going great.


And today... i saw the other chick make a few posts (not to him either) and i feel worried. Like will he forget me, does he really like me or what, will he flirt with the new girl if she comes on stronger than me... oy, i hate feeling this way.


And i feel threatened because i won't be able to make the next few meetups.. but she will... So, i ask myself,

Pages

Avatar for aimsicle
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 12:39pm
I think there is a difference between being aggressive and being open. I think you should be open with your feelings, but not aggressive. I think if he really gets tempted that easily to forget you, then he isn't worth your while anyway. And, for what it's worth, I don't think he will!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 12:42pm

But there's a difference between playing coy and not showing interest.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 2:27pm
He doesn't strike me as flaky at all. I agree with Alison, let him know that you're interested in persuing this and why you won't be out for a bit. Can you invite him over after the kids are in bed to watch a movie? Let him know you'd still like to get together while you're not able to go out, this way you can still see him. Good luck! He really seems to like you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 2:40pm

I agree with the consensus here. Let him know openly. Can you have him over or go see him on a work break this week? Hug him and give him a kiss, tell him you are interested in where this has been going. How could he not love that?


And I know this sounds catty, but

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 4:45pm

All you can do, is be you. And all he can do is either like the you you put out there, or not and move onto someone else. I know that's blunt and might seem like no help at all. I'm just putting out the obvious. I think as females, we tend to worry so (too) much about alllll the what ifs and thats why the emotional fluctuation of secure vs insecure. But really, when you think about it, all you can do is be yourself and either he likes that and dates you, or he doesn't. But its nothing you're doing wrong. YOu can't morph yourself into some one you aren't or start second guessing everything you do when it comes to him and how you interact with him. Do whatever you feel natural doing, and not what you think he'd want/expect you to do.


just my 2 cents

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 6:36pm

thanks... open is right. I will keep that in mind.


i guess i was so afraid of losing his interest that i was being mysterious. And time to lose the mystery at this stage of things.


thanks for the good advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 6:43pm

Great advice from you... communicate! And take

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 6:49pm

thanks Liz... i've been living off of you alls opinion here.. because i'm having trouble reading him too.


yes, he knows why i won't be able to get out.. i'm breaking in a new sitter (and low on extra cash.)


I wasn't sure if we are at the point where i can invite him over.... but i might if i feel like it... Sure a part of me was hoping that he would suggest things but he probably has no idea what that would be.. like a short get together for dinner on my break or stopping by the house for a movie after the children are asleep... And there are also phone conversations.... and since we have excellent mental chemistry the phone calls will probably go a long way to connecting with each other and getting to know each other.


no, he doesn't seem like a flake AT ALL... so i know it's an irrational fear but nontheless it hit me today.


thanks


Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 6:55pm

thanks pac for you words of encouragement, too.


BTW, he sent me a text asking about my day... and i just said "going decent" ... his reply was "is there any way i can make it better" ... i couldn't resist and replied "i could think of a few *wink" and he replied "lol any that wouldn't get you fired"


that was so sweet of him.... so i don't know why i'm second guessing. (other than the fact that i'm insane...lol)


i need to keep telling myself what you said pac, he will be missing me at these next few meetups.


side note: i've had a couple people say that when i don't show up or show up really late, a few people start missing me and thinking things are not the same. I guess i get used to that kind of encouragement \ attention and i will be missing them the next two weeks too.


Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 7:03pm

ah yes, it is the obvious but very true. it's the advice i would give myself. It is the nature of my recovery for the last 4 years... Be myself. Be true to myself. Don't try to be what others except but what i feel is right for me...


earlier today i thought of writing him a vulnerable email about how people only see one side of me "the energizer bunny" but there is another softer side that i hope he is interested in getting to know too.


do you think that sound cheezy or something i should send? or say face to face (ya right...lol)


Pages