Help....missmatched expectations...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Help....missmatched expectations...?
6
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 10:41pm

Hi all! I need some help/perspective/honest kick in the butt!! hehe


Ok, I will try to make my story as short as I can.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 11:09pm

Well, to ME "casual" dating equates to just being friends LOL! I want more, but that's just me... I couldn't be casual for long!

The good thing is that he didn't say he was DONE- so maybe just look at him like a friend you're getting to know and not in a "romantic" way and see if that helps you to slow down. I find it's how we perceive the situation that really makes us decide if we're going to be comfortable with it or not.

"Admire what you DO have, and stop asking for what you don't." Ds-age 8


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 11:19pm

Alison, thank you so much for your reply!!!


So I am not being crazy by wanting something more than casual from the begining??????

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 11:54pm

Lol- no you're not crazy!

You could continue seeing him as a friend and date others, or you could walk and not bother and date others.

But DO continue dating! Do not let one guy stop you from getting out there and exploring it a little!

"Admire what you DO have, and stop asking for what you don't." Ds-age 8


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-28-2008 - 12:01am

I have shared this before on this board that expectations are premeditated resentments. I fully believe in living in the moment, i.e. not worry about the future or what might be (see Eckhart Tolle's books).

I do think it is hard for getting both people on the same page at the same time. I believe time evens things out or shows that you two are not on the same page.

I also have been there, done that insofar as wanting it NOW and not getting the same relationship that I left.

A way of getting out of putting all your emotional eggs in one basket/person is to get out to do more activities - group and dating things.

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Mon, 07-28-2008 - 12:10am

Thank you Mark for your insight!!!


I have a problem with enjoying the moment...can you tell? hehe I will be checking the author you mention...I definitely need some help in that area...


I know you and Alison both suggesting dating some more...I just don't have enough time or energy to date more than one person at the same time...I don't know how!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 07-28-2008 - 8:14am

I must say I agree with Alison.

Do not put too much emphasis on this one - look for one better. I think you want someone who will do some fun things and then keep the momentum while getting to know you - and where it is just a good match for both people.

"You could continue seeing him as a friend and date others, or you could walk and not bother and date others.

But DO continue dating! Do not let one guy stop you from getting out there and exploring it a little!"

I agree.

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