Here's the update to my weekend!
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 03-04-2008 - 12:08am |
Ok, I'm really frustrated. Do we have an icon for that?
Friday night I went to the night club meetup and it just wasn't what I was into anymore. I was really looking forward to dancing, etc., but it turned out the place we wanted to go to was somehow messed up and it was supposed to be a free entrance fee and then it wasn't. I don't know what the issue was, but they screwed it up and sixty people were standing outside until I suggested another place. It was a great place and all, but I guess I realized I'm just not a night club person anymore. AND I felt really old, although everyone who was with me was my age or older. ANYWAY, kinda of boo hoo.
Soooooo heard from the Hottie guy on Saturday morning and we decided to meet at 6 o'clock. I almost wanted to cancel because I really wanted to stay home with the kids and I had a feeling it would have been best, BUT again, I didn't listen to my gut instinct (I had a gut feeling on Friday night too and didn't listen). So I drive to see him and LADIES.... the man is HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT! I don't think I've seen such an awesome looker yet here in the Carolinas. Well, it's been a rarity. We seemed to have instant chemical click. He had already ordered himself a drink and was waiting on me. Now remember, it's six o'clock. We started talking and it seemed to flow pretty well. We had the same interests and everything. I just don't want to get all into the whole thing, BUT I wanted to pay a long time ago because he seemed SOOO into himself. Which was fine, because he was hot, he was pretty well rounded in conversation and uptodate on topics, etc etc. BUT, he just seemed to be angry at the world somehow. He made this nasty comments all the time about how other people lie, lie, lie to him and he hates liars, etc etc. It was wierd. OK, so get this, I didn't know how to end it and so it was after midnight. He never thought to ask about food or anything and the man had about 16 Jack and Cokes. I mentioned this and wondered if he was ok to drive home. He said he was perfectly in order and you know what? He acted like it. He didn't slur, he acted the same sober self as when I met him and then I wondered how many he had all day. He also proceeded to tell me that the same night that he cancelled our date, he had a house party. He said, he miraculously felt better and decided to invite friends over. OKKKKKKKKK!! DIDN'T I tell you ladies, he was probably lying??????? Here, the guy that hates liars, lied to me. GEESH. I pointed that out, but he said, he wasn't feeling better, until a few hours later. OK, whatever....... I finally got home late when he sends me a text with: sweet dreams. I said thanks and left it to that.
Haven't heard from him since, but not concerned. For the above OBVIOUS reasons....
Remember the guy that I said was so slow on asking me out? Well, he ended up calling and saying he really wanted to go out with me, etc. etc. Wanted to also know if we didn't want to meet up last minute afterall and I said no, I made my plans. So he again proceeded to tell me how great I was, etc etc and he couldn't wait for us to go out and that he had a date for Saturday but not really interested, because he thought I had a great sense of humor. Ok.... whatever.
Heard back from him today. He sent me a joke on match.com. That's it. Then I noticed his profile was no longer on the site so I responded by saying I noticed he wasn't showing himself online anymore and if

Pages
I agree with Judy on keeping your profile positive.
With your "...I would like to add that special someone that compliments my life as I do his."
I think you mean "complement" instead of "compliment" but that works too.
My take is that this is a happy, fairly generic profile where the key things I would look at are (1)pictures, (2)lifestyle, and if you are (3)"fun."
It works. Now you just need to screen judiciously.
Good luck,
Mark
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb
Cat the new profile sounds great - you and West make a great team ;)
"Now you just need to screen judiciously."
I agree with this one. Cat, what did the profile of the 15 Jack and Coke guy say? You should post it here to see if we can learn something.
People do all kinds of things that appear crazy to another person. Everyone is going to do something to hurt you at one point - and probably not on purpose. Perhaps if you are attending the positive meetup group they will help - and just to seek to be more understanding so you are not so upset. But I don't think any of these past dates would be good - I don't think you sabotaged yourself with them. I think they were just not right.
Even Mr15JacknCoke probably has a reason for his stupidity and drinking - maybe his dad was an alcoholic and his parents had a disastrous relationship or something else bad happened in his life and he cannot get over it. There is always a reason and you can learn to have understanding and compassion - not that you want to go on another date with him!!!! But you can understand why he is that way and not be mad just say next.
I think the type of person who is capable of a good relationship has a busy life and is not in a rush for all the infatuation - they are happy with let's go slow and see what happens over time.
And besides, there are a lot of different people and situations on OLD - 99% of them are not for you. And that is okay - you just need one. Be picky - but try to have fun meeting new people and learning from your experiences.
I think this idea is good: "You have to become so happy you will know you are okay to be alone the rest of your life." I think you are headed that way with doing so good with your job and being able to buy your own house.
Yep, we do. Its the FRAZZLED one, lol.
Sorry things took a dive this weekend.
"no matter how much I would have tried on my own, I would never have gotten it that way. I just seem to still have so much darkness inside which upsets me because I really don't want that."
Oh Sweetie! Unless you have us bamboozled here, lol, you do NOT come across like that! Give yourself a break. Some of us on here are pretty darn emotionally healthy, some are totally in a bad place, some think they are ok - but still have drama with X's going on, some are dying for a relationship, some are just having fun dabbling in the crazy world of dating ... & its ALL OK! You are not alone - & you are doing FINE!
I just seem to still have so much darkness inside which upsets me because I really don't want that. I want to get away from it all and finally find positive books and seminars to help guide me into that light.
I completely relate to this and I really have such respect for you writing it out. For what you have been through there will be darkness in you as well as light. I have the same and so does my SO. I think a lot of us do. I remember once in a competition almost directly after my Mom's death I had to fly to Denmark without my 1 and a half year old son for the finals. I was still very torn up inside from her death and yet I was trying SOO hard to move on and make her proud. Someone in the audience after I was elminated came up to me and for some reason sat me down and told me I had too much anger and darkness in me. It irritated me but my Dad was there and he talked to me about it and basically said that if I didnt have those moments he would be far more worried about me for what I had been through. I think I still have elements of this but one thing I have learned through the work I do is that I can schedule an entire concert of beautiful inspiring uplifting music. Music which has no darkness and was written by people who were surrounded by it. Saint Saens was a french composer and he wrote some of the most ethereal music and he lost most of his family to death or tragedy including his very young child out of a window fall...It inspired me to do research on these composers for some reason. I realized I had avoided EVER performing the Mendelssohn Concerto with orchestra even though I perform all the darn time. I kept getting asked to do it and saying no. Finally one of the conductors who I know and trust said to me " hey can I tell you why it is I think you wont do the Mendelssohn and why I think you should?" I said sure and he told me that he thought I had avoided it because I had been through so much pain I wasnt sure I could stay in the light long enough - and he said he thought I should play it now that bf is here and time has passed and embrace my current happiness. So I did last December and it was very lifechanging for me. I know you are not a musician and you are probably wondering why I am rambing but I guess I just wanted to tell you that the more you surround yourself with things which are inside of the light, the more you will reflect it back. Sometimes it is hard to want to go and see THAT movie for me or to hear THAT concert or to just take a second and feel joy over a simple moment with DS or my dog but I now seek out such things. I need to continue to rebalance. The fact is in some way I think I unbalanced how I feel things by being inside of pain and fear for too long without break. It would resemble how some psych's might talk about clinical depression only I am not depressed - I just have trouble being or embracing light sometimes. But it is possible to get back into a positive streak. It is something I deal with on a fairly continuous basis and I do think things have gotten better for me in the last few years.
Rlch is right - you dont come across as dark on here. But the fact that you have these thoughts about yourself is a great insight and I think just writing on here has probably helped you a bit already.
BTW I loved what clwest did to your profile. Awesome edit and I think it will work better for you.
HUGS....
Thank you all for being so supportive. I signed up for a few more positive thinking and laws of attraction meetups. :)
I so agree about not seeking out negativity or wanting to be negative, I just think something inside of me has been dark for so long that it's very hard to recognize and realize I'm putting myself into a negative light.
As citylife said: I'm not depressed, I just
I think you mean "complement" instead of "compliment" but that works too.
Mark --
It's compliment, not complement. :)
But Mark is right - it is complement in the way we used it.
To complement is to add to - like how the right color paint complements a room. Whereas a compliment is a nice comment.
edited to add:
complement \KOM-pluh-muhnt\, noun:
1. Something that fills up or completes.
2. The quantity or number required to make up a whole or to make something complete.
3. One of two parts that complete a whole or mutually complete each other; a counterpart.
Edited 3/5/2008 10:01 am ET by cl-west1745
Pages